as near as dammit

In every practical or functional sense; almost completely. Primarily heard in UK. These shoes look like the ones she saw in the magazine, as near as dammit, so I think she'll love them. A: "Is the cafeteria ready for today's event?" B: "As near as dammit. There's only a few small things we still need to do." The app is finished, as near as dammit. We just need to iron out a few issues before it's released.

I'm a (something), not a (something else)

Used to emphasize one's status as a certain type of person to the exclusion of some other type. Modeled on the catch phrase of Dr. McCoy in the television series Star Trek, "I'm a doctor, not a (something)." A: "What do you think would be the best way to market our new app?" B: "Hey, don't ask me—I'm a programmer, not a salesperson." A: "Do you think you can repair the car?" B: "Lady, I'm a mechanic, not a miracle worker. This thing is totaled." Your dryer? Look, I'm a plumber, not a magician. If your dryer is acting up, I can't help you with that.

as near as dammit (or damn it)

as close to being accurate as makes no difference. informal

as ˌnear as ˈdammit

(also as ˌnear as makes no ˈdifference) (British English, spoken) very nearly; so nearly something or so like something that you can consider it the same: The bill for the meal was £100, as near as dammit. ♢ Here’s some paint to cover that scratch on the car. It’s not an exact match but it’s as near as makes no difference.

Dammit is a way of writing damn it (an expression showing you are annoyed or impatient)