barmy on the crumpet

Eccentric or weird. In this phrase, a "crumpet" (a muffinlike pastry) is synonymous with one's head, and "barmy" means "yeasty." What do you think of John's strange behavior lately? I'm starting to wonder if he's a bit barmy on the crumpet. He says he's going to start a business selling bees as pets. I think he's barmy on the crumpet. Anyone who would go out in a blizzard like this is barmy on the crumpet.

be not worth a crumpet

informal To be useless or worthless. Primarily heard in Australia, New Zealand. This chair is not worth a crumpet. One of the legs just broke clean off! You asked those two to help you with your homework? Please, they're not worth a crumpet. They barely know that one plus one is two. I was so excited when my grandfather said he'd give me his car, but this old clunker isn't worth a crumpet.

not worth a crumpet

informal Useless or worthless. Primarily heard in Australia, New Zealand. This chair is not worth a crumpet. One of the legs just broke clean off! You asked those two to help you with your homework? Please, they're not worth a crumpet. They barely know that one plus one is two.

piece of crumpet

rude slang A woman who is sexually attractive or appealing. Primarily heard in UK. If you want to set me up with a piece of crumpet like Hailey, I certainly wouldn't say no—she's gorgeous!

the thinking man's/women's crumpet

One who is considered both intelligent and attractive, and is therefore sexually desirable. It's clear that she's trying to present herself as the thinking man's crumpet, always carrying around those books.