(as) thick as a plank

Remarkably stupid, dimwitted, or obtuse. I smoked a lot of marijuana when I was in high school, so I turned out thick as a plank by the time I finally graduated. Jen's new girlfriend is very nice, but have you had a conversation with her? She's as thick as a plank. You took apart the entire washing machine just to unblock the pump? I swear, sometimes you can be as thick as a plank, Larry.

(as) thick as a short plank

Remarkably stupid, dimwitted, or obtuse. You're thick as a short plank if you think you can swim across that river. I must have been as thick as a short plank when I was younger, because I sure did some stupid things. You took apart the entire washing machine just to unblock the pump? I swear, sometimes you can be as thick as a short plank, Larry.

(as) thick as two planks

Remarkably stupid, dimwitted, or obtuse. I smoked a lot of marijuana when I was in high school, so I turned out thick as two planks by the time I finally graduated. Jen's new girlfriend is very nice, but she's as thick as two planks. You took apart the entire washing machine just to unblock the pump? I swear, sometimes you can be as thick as two planks, Larry.

(as) thick as two short planks

Remarkably stupid, dimwitted, or obtuse. I smoked a lot of marijuana when I was in high school, so I turned out thick as two short planks by the time I finally graduated. Jen's new girlfriend is very nice, but she's as thick as two short planks. You took apart the entire washing machine just to unblock the pump? I swear, sometimes you can be as thick as two short planks, Larry.

be (as) thick as a plank

To be remarkably stupid, dimwitted, or obtuse. He smoked a lot of marijuana when he was in high school, so he turned out thick as a plank by the time he finally graduated. Jen's new girlfriend is very nice, but have you had a conversation with her? She's as thick as a plank. You took apart the entire washing machine just to unblock the pump? I swear, sometimes you can be as thick as a plank, Larry.

be (as) thick as a short plank

To be remarkably stupid, dimwitted, or obtuse. I smoked a lot of marijuana when I was in high school, so I was as thick as a short plank by the time I finally graduated. Jen's new girlfriend is very nice, but she's thick as a short plank. You took apart the entire washing machine just to unblock the pump? I swear, sometimes you can be as thick as a short plank, Larry.

be (as) thick as two short planks

To be remarkably stupid, dimwitted, or obtuse. I was as thick as two short planks back in high school. Good thing I straightened out in college. Jen's new girlfriend is very nice, but she's thick as two short planks. You took apart the entire washing machine just to unblock the pump? I swear, sometimes you can be as thick as two short planks, Larry.

plank over

To cover something up with planks of wood. A noun or pronoun can be used between "plank" and "over." Pedestrians are not allowed on this path until builders have finished planking it over. It turns out they simply planked over the deteriorating ceiling rather than repairing it.

shitting planks

rude slang Very scared or nervous. Of course I was shitting planks when I woke up to the sounds of an intruder in my house! My brother is so strong and scary looking that people start shitting planks when he threatens them.

walk the plank

To be forced to accept the consequences of something. The phrase refers to the idea of pirates forcing their prisoners to walk off a plank on a ship and ultimately drown in the ocean. The person who's embezzling money from the company will have to walk the plank once their identity is discovered.

See also: plank, walk

plank over something

to cover something over with planking. The county planked over the old bridge so bicyclists could use it.

*thick as a short plank

and *thick as two short planks

exceptionally dim-witted. (*Also: as ~.) Dumb? He's as thick as a short plank, more like. Oh, I'd not say she was stupid. As thick as two short planks, yes, but stupid? Never!

walk the plank

Fig. to suffer punishment at the hand of someone. (Fig. on the image of pirates making their blindfolded captives die by walking off the end of a plank jutting out over the open sea.) Fred may think he can make the members of my department walk the plank, but we will fight back. Tom thought he could make John walk the plank, but John fought back.

See also: plank, walk

walk the plank

Be forced to resign, as in We were sure that Ted hadn't left of his own accord; he'd walked the plank. This metaphoric idiom alludes to a form of execution used in the 17th century, mainly by pirates, whereby a victim was forced to walk off the end of a board placed on the edge of the ship's deck and so drown. [Second half of 1800s]

See also: plank, walk

The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms by Christine Ammer. Copyright © 2003, 1997 by The Christine Ammer 1992 Trust. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

walk the plank

JOURNALISM

If someone in a position of authority walks the plank, they accept responsibility for something bad that has happened and leave their position. The company announced its new sales figures today, six weeks after the crisis that saw its chief executive walk the plank. Note: Many people believe that pirates used to kill their prisoners by forcing them to walk along a plank or gangplank sticking out from the edge of a ship until they fell into the sea.

See also: plank, walk

thick as two planks

thick as two short planks

BRITISH, INFORMAL

If someone is as thick as two planks or as thick as two short planks, they are very stupid. His people regarded him as a great and wise king. In fact he was as thick as two planks.

walk the plank

lose your job or position.

The image here is of the traditional fate of the victims of pirates: being forced to walk blindfold along a plank over the side of a ship to your death in the sea.

See also: plank, walk

thick as two (short) planks

very stupid. informal

Variants of this expression include thick as a plank and thick as a brick . There is a play on thick in its basic sense ‘of relatively great depth from side to side’ and its colloquial sense ‘stupid’.

(as) thick as two short ˈplanks

(informal) (also (as) thick as ˈshit taboo, slang) (British English) (of a person) very stupid: Because she’s a model, people assume she’s as thick as two short planks, but she isn’t. OPPOSITE: (as) bright as a button

Thick is the opposite of thin and can also mean ‘stupid’ in informal language.

walk the ˈplank

1 (in the past) walk along a board placed over the side of a ship and fall into the sea, as a punishment
2 (informal) be forced to leave your job or position: The food and the service is terrible in this restaurant. If you ask me, whoever is in charge should be made to walk the plank!

See also: plank, walk

walk the plank

To be forced, as by pirates, to walk off a plank extended over the side of a ship so as to drown.

See also: plank, walk

American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition. Copyright © 2016 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

walk the plank, to

To be forced to die or to give up one’s position. The term refers to a form of execution favored by seventeenth-century pirates. A board was placed on the ship’s deck extending over the water, and the condemned was forced to walk off the end. Thomas Macaulay used it in 1844: “It would have been necessary for Howe and Nelson to make every French sailor whom they took to walk the plank.”