(as) dead as a doorknob
1. Unequivocally dead. A: "Is the squirrel dead? Poke it with a stick and check." B: "Yep, dead as a doorknob." A: "Are you sure the goldfish is dead?" B: "Oh yeah—dead as a doorknob." Any animal unlucky enough to run out into this busy street will end up dead as a doorknob.
2. Totally defunct. Oh, that idea from last week's meeting is as dead as a doorknob—the CEO just vetoed it. Good luck getting a refund from that company—it seems to be dead as a doorknob these days. His mayoral campaign is likely dead as a doorknob now, thanks to this exposé about his shady business dealings.
(as) dumb as a doorknob
Exceptionally foolish, dimwitted, or unintelligent. You thought you could fix the washing machine on your own, so you just started pulling it apart? I swear, sometimes you can be as dumb as a doorknob, Larry. I used to think that she was as dumb as a doorknob when we were kids, but she grew up to be a physicist. Are you dumb as a doorknob? Why would you touch the alarm when the sign clearly says "DO NOT TOUCH" in bold red letters?
be (as) dead as a doorknob
1. To be unequivocally dead. A: "Is the squirrel dead? Poke it with a stick and check." B: "Yep, it's dead as a doorknob." A: "Are you sure the goldfish is dead?" B: "Oh yeah—it's dead as a doorknob." Any animal unlucky enough to run out into this busy street will be dead as a doorknob in a matter of seconds.
2. To be totally defunct. Oh, that idea from last week's meeting is as dead as a doorknob—the CEO just vetoed it. Good luck getting a refund from that company—it seems to be dead as a doorknob these days. His mayoral campaign is likely dead as a doorknob now, thanks to this exposé about his shady business dealings.
be (as) dumb as a doorknob
To be exceptionally foolish, dimwitted, or unintelligent. You thought you could fix the washing machine on your own, so you just started pulling it apart? I swear, sometimes you can be as dumb as a doorknob, Larry. I used to think that she was as dumb as a doorknob when we were kids, but she grew up to be a physicist. Are you dumb as a doorknob? Why would you touch the alarm when the sign clearly says "DO NOT TOUCH" in bold red letters?
don't let the doorknob hit you where the dog should have bit you
colloquial Leave here quickly and directly; don't linger on your way out the door. Primarily heard in US. I couldn't be happier that you're leaving the firm—you were a nuisance here anyway. Don't let the doorknob hit you where the dog should have bit you! Get out of my house, you lying cheat—and don't let the doorknob it you where the dog should have bit you! A: "Fine, then I'm leaving!" B: "You're a real jerk, you know that? Don't let the doorknob hit you where the dog should have bit you!"
Don't let the doorknob hit you where the good Lord split you!
colloquial The phrase likely originated in African-American vernacular. "Where the good Lord split you" refers to the intergluteal cleft (the crease of one's buttocks). Primarily heard in US.
1. Leave here quickly and directly; don't linger on your way out the door. If you're willing to work hard and put in the hours I ask, then I want you in my company. If not, well, then don't let the doorknob hit you where the good Lord split you, as my grandmother used to say. Get out of my house, you lying cheat—and don't let the doorknob hit you where the good Lord split you! A: "Fine, then I'm leaving!" B: "You're a real jerk, you know that? Don't let the doorknob hit you where the good Lord split you!"
2. Used to indicate that one is glad that someone is leaving or has left. Did you hear about the governor being forced to resign? Ha, serves him right. Don't let the doorknob hit you where the good Lord split you, creep! A: "I couldn't be happier that he's leaving the firm, he was a nuisance here anyway." B: "Right? 'Don't let the doorknob hit you where the good Lord split you!'" She was completely useless as a babysitter because she spent the whole time on the phone with her boyfriend! That's why I fired her—don't let the doorknob hit you where the good Lord split you!
hotter than a hooker's doorknob on nickel night
rude slang Very hot. Usually said in reference to air temperature. A: "I heard it's pretty warm out today." B: "Oh yeah, hotter than a hooker's doorknob on nickel night." On summer days in Texas, when it's hotter than a hooker's doorknob on nickel night, there's nothing quite like a tall glass of sweet tea.
slicker than snot on a doorknob
slang Very slippery. Be careful out there—ice has made the steps slicker than snot on a doorknob.
Farlex Dictionary of Idioms. © 2024 Farlex, Inc, all rights reserved.