wooden

(redirected from woodenly)
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Related to woodenly: dutifully, craftily

a wooden nickel

A person or thing that only vaguely appears to have any real value, but is ultimately worthless. A nickel is worth five cents, thus already being worth very little. Primarily heard in US. This whole accreditation scheme has as much value as a wooden nickel when it does nothing to get you more work in the field.
See also: nickel, wooden

a wooden nutmeg

dated A fraudulent substitute or imitation. Primarily heard in US. Anyone selling you designer goods at such low prices is definitely peddling wooden nutmegs. The major tax overhaul congress has been promising is nothing more than a wooden nutmeg—it will benefit no one but a few at the very top, and for everyone else it will remain a convoluted and expensive mess.
See also: wooden

accept a wooden nickel

To accept something that proves to be fraudulent or deceitful; to be swindled or conned. Primarily heard in US. I'm done accepting wooden nickels—capricious women who say they love me, then get bored and decide I'm not worth their time. My husband is a wonderful man, but he has about as much business sense as a grade-schooler. If I had let him accept all the wooden nickels offered flaky customers have tried to peddle on us, we'd have gone bankrupt years ago.
See also: accept, nickel, wooden

don't take any wooden nickels

Take care and, specifically, try not to get swindled. The phrase is thought to have originated in the early 20th century when country residents visiting the city were considered easily duped. Primarily heard in US. Have fun tonight and don't take any wooden nickels!
See also: any, nickel, take, wooden

get the wooden spoon

To finish a contest or competition in last place. (The "wooden spoon" is the hypothetical prize for the person finishing in last place in a competition.) Primarily heard in UK, Australia. I may not have gotten the wooden spoon, but that was still one of the worst tournament performances of my career. Even though his team got the wooden spoon last season, Edwards feels confident that they have as good a chance as any to win the championship this year.
See also: get, spoon, wooden

put on a/the wooden overcoat

dated slang To die. ("Wooden overcoat" refers to a coffin.) After he retired, he said he wanted to spend his time and money traveling the world before he put on the wooden overcoat. She'll be putting on a wooden overcoat soon if she doesn't start changing her diet and lifestyle.
See also: on, overcoat, put, wooden

take the wooden spoon

To finish a contest or competition in last place. (The "wooden spoon" is an imaginary prize said to be awarded to the competitor in last place.) Primarily heard in UK, Australia. I may not have taken the wooden spoon, but that was still one of the worst tournament performances of my career. Even though his team took the wooden spoon last season, Edwards feels confident that they have as good a chance as any to win the championship this year.
See also: spoon, take, wooden

the wooden spoon

The imaginary prize for the person finishing in last place in a competition. Primarily heard in UK, Australia. I don't expect to win, but I sure hope I don't get the wooden spoon!
See also: spoon, wooden

win the wooden spoon

To finish a contest or competition in last place. (The "wooden spoon" is an imaginary prize said to be awarded to the competitor in last place.) Primarily heard in UK, Australia. Even though his team won the wooden spoon last season, Edwards feels confident that they have as good a chance as any to win the championship this year. I may not have won the wooden spoon, but that was still one of the worst tournament performances of my career.
See also: spoon, win, wooden

wooden kimono

dated slang A coffin. You're going to end up in a wooden kimono before you're 50 if you don't start improving your diet. Don't worry, boss. We'll put that stool pigeon in a wooden kimono before he ever makes it to court.
See also: kimono, wooden

wooden mare

An ancient torture device involving a wooden horse, typically used for military punishments. I was so terrified of what my parents would do when they found out I'd failed my exam that I had visions of them making me ride the wooden mare.
See also: mare, wooden

wooden overcoat

dated slang A coffin. You're going to end up in a wooden overcoat before you're 50 if you don't start improving your diet. Don't worry, boss. We'll put that stool pigeon in a wooden overcoat before he ever makes it to court.
See also: overcoat, wooden

wooden spoonist

slang The person or team that finishes last in a competition. So-named because the imaginary prize for a last-place finish is a wooden spoon. Primarily heard in UK. Of course Roy was the wooden-spoonist in today's race—I didn't know a person could run so slow!
See also: wooden

wooden suit

dated slang A coffin. You're going to end up in a wooden suit before you're 50 if you don't start improving your diet. Don't worry, boss. We'll put that stool pigeon in a wooden suit before he ever makes it to court.
See also: suit, wooden

wooden top

A beet-shaped wooden toy that spins on a metal point at the bottom. What are you kids complaining about? When I was your age, I only had a wooden top to play with!
See also: top, wooden

a wooden nickel

AMERICAN
If you call something a wooden nickel, you mean that it is completely false or has no value. Note: A nickel is a five cent coin and a dime is a ten cent coin. He looked at the card as though it were a wooden nickel. `That doesn't prove a thing,' he said.
See also: nickel, wooden

the wooden spoon

BRITISH
COMMON If you say that someone gets the wooden spoon, you mean that they are the last in a race or competition or are the worst at a particular activity. Cosmos will almost certainly get the wooden-spoon for the second year in a row if they lose. Britain's bureaucrats won the EU's wooden spoon yesterday, as the worst linguists in Brussels. Note: You can use wooden spoon before a noun. After their third defeat, the Hawks have confirmed their place as wooden spoon contenders this season. Note: At one time, the student who got the lowest marks in their final mathematics exam at Cambridge University was given a wooden spoon.
See also: spoon, wooden

accept a wooden nickel

be fooled or swindled. US
A wooden nickel is a worthless or counterfeit coin.
See also: accept, nickel, wooden

a wooden nutmeg

a false or fraudulent thing. US
A wooden nutmeg was a piece of wood shaped to resemble a nutmeg and fraudulently sold as the real thing. This deception was particularly associated with the inhabitants of Connecticut, giving rise to the nickname ‘the Nutmeg State’.
See also: wooden

win the wooden spoon

be the least successful contestant; win the booby prize.
A wooden spoon was originally presented to the candidate coming last in the Cambridge University mathematical tripos (the final honours examination for a BA degree).
See also: spoon, win, wooden

don’t take any wooden ˈnickels

(American English) used when saying goodbye to somebody to mean ‘be careful’, ‘take care of yourself’: Well, see you around Tom. Don’t take any wooden nickels.
See also: any, nickel, take, wooden

get, win, take, etc. the ˌwooden ˈspoon

(British English, informal) come last in a race or competition: England must win this match if they are to avoid taking the wooden spoon.It was a custom at the University of Cambridge to give a wooden spoon to the student of mathematics who had the lowest mark/grade for their year.
See also: spoon, wooden

don't take any wooden nickels

Protect yourself (against fraud, loss, and so on). This warning against counterfeit coins dates from about 1900 and is distinctly American in origin, the nickel being a U.S. or Canadian five-cent coin. Why a wooden coin was selected is not known. Presumably making coins of wood would always have been more expensive than the intrinsic value of metal coins. Several writers suggest it replaced don’t take any wooden nutmegs, a now obsolete saying dating from colonial times when sharp traders sold wooden nutmegs mixed in with the real spice. In print the expression is found in Ring Lardner’s story, The Real Dope (1919), “In the mean wile—until we meet again—don’t take no wood nickles [sic] and don’t get impatient and be a good girlie.”
See also: any, nickel, take, wooden

Don't take any wooden nickels

Don't let yourself be cheated. This expression was first heard in the early 20th century. Although there never were any wooden nickels as legal tender, country folk going to a city were likely to be cheated by all manner of ruses, including obviously counterfeit coins. Wooden nickels did exist, however, as bank promotions during and after the Great Depression; the “coins” were redeemable for prizes.
See also: any, nickel, take, wooden
References in periodicals archive ?
Finally, Marpeck is paradigmatic in his wrestling with classical theology, neither dismissing it as a state church aberration nor imitating it woodenly, but viewing it as a possible vehicle for creatively expressing the deepest mysteries of biblical life and faith.
To treat other people justly is very important; yet, if our actions to others were only just, life would be woodenly virtuous and without the special joys that friendship brings.
I felt that I was expressing myself woodenly, that I groped hopelessly for words, that I couldn't say what was on my mind.
On the one hand, there are Christians who reject the knowledge science pro vides, particularly in the areas of evolution and cosmology, and insist that the biblical accounts of creation and cosmology must be read in a woodenly literal fashion.
Even as the Treasury was woodenly interpreting the 1913 provisions for individuals, the process of defining "income" for incorporated businesses was underway.
It is far less compelling when the practitioner has no such credentials and woodenly applies a standard piece of textbook analysis for purposes of rational reconstruction or sectarian polemic.
A second fundamental problem with these approaches is that by woodenly splitting patents into different categories of treatment, they overlook the central lessons learned from debates over civil litigation generally.
Her voice soared, expanded and modulated in an excruciating role for which each act has lengthy and emotionally powerful monologues--reminiscences of childhood, sexual awakening and the terrible finale in which a transfixed Mattila walked woodenly along the Volga river bank in a dirty wet dress.
What happened next is acted out woodenly, in mime, the singers now transformed into puppets.
(48) Father Brennan has acknowledged that people should avoid two extremes, namely, on the one hand, choosing according to personal preference 'on the basis that there is no objective truth or verifiable good', and on the other hand, 'woodenly' applying church authority.
The woodenly literal "co-suffering" is nevertheless useful in forming a contrasting parallel with "suffering," used consistently here to render Hugh's "passio." Frequently, Hugh relates "passio" to "compassio" in various ways, which is more apparent in translation when these are rendered "suffering" and "co-suffering" respectively.
I caution them not to apply that rule of thumb too woodenly but to use professional judgment particularly if a number of cells are close to but not quite at the critical value.
Of course, Calvin was not woodenly literal in his interpretation of Scripture, and many today would wonder about what he thought was the "simple and natural" meaning of certain texts.
It is hard to miss Judge Bork's ironic glee in rejecting "old categories which, applied woodenly, do not address modern problems," id.
Her stiff, outstretched arms protrude woodenly, as she raises them to reveal a small circular cavity in either hand, oozing a substance more akin to tar than blood.