wear the pants in the/(one's) family

wear the pants in the/(one's) family

To have the greatest amount of authority or control in one's family. The phrase is often applied to a woman, contrasting the fact that pants were historically only worn by men, who were also traditionally the decision makers within a household. I think it's pretty obvious who actually wears the pants in our family—Grandma Helene. Actually, we both wear the pants in our family, so to speak. We make a point of making every major decision jointly.

See also: family, pant, wear