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turd in the punchbowl

vulgar slang Something or someone that spoils, ruins, or needlessly complicates a situation or circumstance; a disagreeable nuisance or source of irritation. For these greedy corporate executives, restrictions put in place by regulators to protect consumers are just turds in the punchbowl. Not to be the turd in the punchbowl, but I really think we should take this money we found to the police, instead of keeping it for ourselves.
See also: turd

polish a turd

slang To make something unpleasant seem more appealing than it really is—which is often a futile effort. "Turd" is a slang term for a piece of feces. Look, man, your term paper was bad before, and all of your edits are just making it worse—polishing a turd won't make it better.
See also: polish, turd

you can't polish a turd

You can't make something unpleasant seem more appealing than it really is—attempting to do so is often a futile effort. "Turd" is a slang term for a piece of feces. Look, man, your term paper was bad before, and all of your edits are just making it worse—you can't polish a turd, you know.
See also: polish, turd


1. noun An unpleasant or irritating person. Geez, that guy just won't shut up—he's a real birdturd.
2. noun Bird excrement. Ugh, I just washed my car, and there's birdturd on it already!
3. adjective Unpleasant, irritating, or stupid. Wow, that was a real birdturd speech—I can't believe they let him address the whole congregation.

ghost turd

slang A ball or clump of lint, as found in an area that needs to be dusted. Grandma will be here any minute, so we need to finish cleaning—please don't leave any ghost turds behind!
See also: ghost, turd


1. n. an obnoxious person. (Rude and derogatory.) You silly birdturd. Wake up!
2. mod. stupid; obnoxious; lousy; worthless. (Usually objectionable.) Of all the stupid, underhanded, birdturd tricks—this takes the cake!
3. n. bird dung, especially if dried. (Usually objectionable.) There’s birdturd on your shoe.

ghost turd

n. a wad of lint, as found under a bed. (Use caution with turd.) There’s a lot of ghost turds under the bed.
See also: ghost, turd


1. n. a formed mass of fecal material; a fecal bolus. (Usually objectionable.) There’s a turd floating in the swimming pool!
2. n. a wretched or worthless person. (Rude and derogatory.) You stupid turd!

turd face

n. a wretched and obnoxious person. (Rude and derogatory.) You stupid turd face! Why did you do that?
See also: face, turd
References in periodicals archive ?
Most modern hunters haven't even heard of these turds, but they're worth mentioning.
By now you get my point that we're using this sixgun simply to illustrate the point about this disturbing turd sucker trend.
Not only did she present me with a glittery turd trophy - let me explain.
Gregory's Ghoul, The Hing, Scheme 3, Close Encounters Of A Turd Kind (Bob McFarlane).
Next thing out of the turd suckers mouth: "Well what happens if I take a rifle round between the eyes?
Their 12 GOLDEN COUNTRY GREATS ALBUM (ELECTRA, 1996), recorded with musicians in Nashville, makes you laugh ("Now you're up shit's creek with a turd for a paddle"), puke ("Pack your bag, I don't need the ag, on your knees you big booty bitch start suckin'"), and cringe ("If you really love me baby, help me scrape the mucus off my brain").
The reality is that there's only one lingering turd on the show .
2 Is the X Factor without Simon Cowell, left, like a dog turd without the fly?
George Mower, 62, was warned not to complain again or, "next time, you'll get a cat turd in the post".
G & G certainly know how to fill a space, and the wraparound spectacle of turd crosses, turd surfboards, and columns of crap provoked the inevitable outcry from the popular press, as well as confirming the fecal duo's status as aging Lords of Misrule.
I was going to send you a dog turd through the post but I could never have brought myself to lick the envelope.
You could put a spray-painted dog turd on it, put the word "vintage" next to it, and people would be clamouring for it like crazed pensioners at a jumble sale.
And even though the singer doesn't hit all the notes and the band is just guitar and drums, there's something endearingly hilarious about a band that sings songs like "The Turd That Came to Life," and "Satan Always Calls Collect.
But we won't be seeing the artist's turd portraits adorned with cuttings from his dreadlocks, or his sculptural "spliffs" - rolled joints filled with elephant excrement, which bear mediate comparison to Robert Gober's colossal sculptural cigar filled with real tobacco leaves.