I'M sorry, I could
swear blind that I read in the Mirror this week about a bloke growing an ear on his arm.
You could
swear blind that the bus carrying you from the Visitor Centre is about to crash into the mountainside when it veers sharply left before popping mole-like into the mouth of a huge tunnel, and steeply downhill deep inside the mountain.
An old bus seat was popped into the back, then all you had to do was
swear blind to your insurer that the van hadn't been modified for ultra-cheap cover.
An owner who'll
swear blind he didn't back it even though it shortened from 66-1 to 10-1.
My children
swear blind they're haunted and won't even pass them, never mind look in.
It is accepted that at interviews, candidates will
swear blind that the job in question - as a cleaner/clerk/chiropodist - is the pinnacle of their ambition, knowing full well that the opposite might be said at another interview tomorrow.
I would
swear blind that I don't put rugby first, ahead of my gorgeous wife Ali and the kids, Olivia and Finley.
In his case if something is not immediately apparent he'll
swear blind that it isn't there but instead of carefully sifting, he'll rummage through the contents like a jumble sale enthusiast.
In the dosh-free zone stand the clueless; the fat, bearded virgins always picked last at school games who
swear blind every team in every league will be trying their hardest right until the last kick of the season because they are pros and therefore paid to do just that.
There are late-thirty somethings who
swear blind that the best album ever made was Half Man Half Biscuit's Back in the DHSS.
AT THIS time of year a million punters
swear blind that the best way to make money is to oppose sides with nothing to play for.
"There he will meet very peculiar people who will
swear blind that there is more to tossing a coin and simply calling heads or tails if he wants to have first choice of innings.
