slow as molasses in January
(as) slow as molasses in January
Exceptionally slow or sluggish; not fast at all. (The addition of "January," which is among the coldest months in the Northern Hemisphere, serves to intensify the meaning, as molasses is especially viscous in the cold. This old laptop my dad gave me takes forever booting up, and then it's as slow as molasses in January the whole time I use it! Come on, Becky, you're slow as molasses in January back there! Pick up the pace and keep up with the group.
*slow as molasses in Januaryand slower than molasses in January
very slow-moving. (*Also: as ~.) Can't you get dressed any faster? I declare, you're as slow as molasses in January. The traffic on the way to the concert was slower than molasses in January.