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have a corncob up one's ass

 and have a poker up one's ass 
1. Inf. to be very stiff. (Use with caution.) How come you're acting so high-and-mighty with me? Do you have a corncob up your ass? He was a terrible actor, stiff and wooden. He looked like he had a poker up his ass.
2. Inf. to be very touchy or irritable. Wow! Old Mr. Webster really has a corncob up his ass this morning. Watch out! Tom has a poker up his ass and he's looking for you. Better make yourself scarce.
See also: ass, have, up

*stiff as a poker

rigid and inflexible; stiff and awkward. (Usually used to describe people. *Also: as ~.) This guy's dead. He's cold and as stiff as a poker. John is not a very good dancer; he's stiff as a poker.
See also: poker, stiff

poker face

A visage lacking any expression that can be interpreted, as in Whenever Betty attended one of her children's performances, she managed to keep a poker face . This term alludes to the facial expression of a poker player who is expert at concealing his feelings about his hand. [c. 1880]
See also: face, poker

stiff as a board

Also, stiff as a poker. Inflexible, rigidly formal, unbending, as in This cloth is stiff as a board; what happened to it? or There he stood, stiff as a poker, unwilling to give an inch. The board in the first simile for rigidity is a slab of wood; the second, alluding to the iron implement used to push around logs in open fires, dates from the late 1700s.
See also: board, stiff

stiff as a board

If you or your body are as stiff as a board, you are very stiff. You'll achieve flexibility very quickly with these exercises — even if you're as stiff as a board at your first session. His lower back felt as stiff as a board.
See also: board, stiff

(as) stiff as a ˈboard

(of things) very firm and difficult to bend or move: He left his gloves outside in the snow, and when he found them again they were as stiff as a board.
See also: board, stiff

(as) stiff as a ˈpoker

(informal) (usually of people) very straight or upright in the way you sit or stand: The old lady was sitting upright in her chair, stiff as a poker.
See also: poker, stiff
References in periodicals archive ?
I'm so thrilled to be a part of Poker Central's vision to drive and broadcast innovative programming through various platforms," said Maria Ho.
The Fantasy Poker Manager is a great way for poker fans to keep track of the progress of their favorite players on the World Poker Tour," said WPT CEO Steve Heller.
The public's first look at this first-of-its-kind, 80-foot by 40-foot Poker Dome, carved out of three existing movie theatres at a third-level cineplex anchoring a city mall known as Neonopolis, where Fremont Street glides into Las Vegas Blvd.
The current version of the Alberta poker program--named Loki for the Norse god of mischief and chaos--already plays a strong game, Schaeffer says.
Other large poker sites would be hit by the Spanish requirements too, but not as hard," Taylor continued.
Phil Hellmuth is the latest in a string of iconic poker players who have committed to the 24/7 Poker TV network, including Antonio Esfandiari and Daniel Negreanu.
Sky Poker is the British Sky Broadcasting's division for online poker, which allows users to play poker on their website and screens selected hands from various tournaments and cash games on Sky Poker TV, allowing players on the site to become the stars of the TV channel.
Poker has succeeded in convincing everyday people that they can waltz into a card room and start winning big money in simple and honest games in which all the information you need is there on the table.
888 isn't the only site to get behind sports, people, and ideas that resonate with the Canadian online poker community, though they're definitely leading the pack.
With an expected prize pool of $25 million*, the Super High Roller Bowl will be one of the most talked about televised poker events of the year.
Whether it's poker training or poker equipment, poker forums or poker magazines, or just the opportunity to rub shoulders with some of the game's great players, the Canadian Poker Expo will have it all.
We're ready now,'' declared Schwartz, 48, of Thousand Oaks, raising her arms in mock victory as she and hundreds of women filed into the Ladies Poker Party tournament tent last week at the Bicycle Casino in Bell Gardens.
Groupe Bernard Tapie allegedly lost to PokerStars during negotiations for Full Tilt Poker, and may now found new online poker site with intent to repay former Full Tilt players, reports G-poker
Poker's All-Time Money Leader Helps Launch New Poker Network
One year after the online poker world's "Black Friday" that saw PokerStars and Full Tilt Poker sites shut down, the online poker industry in Canada is thriving, reports G-poker