In the Old Trout
version of the tale, echoing Carlo Collodi's dark 19th-century text, Pinocchio killed the wise-cricket character with a hammer.
If it's true that "you are what you eat" then Gillian's eaten an awful lot of old trout
and lizards in her time, but in his book The F-Plan, Holmes reveals he's eaten nothing but margarine and whipped cream in the past 10 years.
Calgary's Old Trout
Puppet Workshop, for example, was at New York's Under the Radar festival, presenting its Famous Puppet Death Scenes.
In "Famous Puppet Death Scenes," Canadian troupe the Old Trout
Puppet Workshop stages the last moments of 23 fictional plays.
THAT Gwyneth Paltrow really is a stuffy old trout
, isn't she?
The fishing trip always seems to coincide with our wedding anniversary as well - the excuse is always that he's been up in some hill loch where there were no shops and the gag of handing me a trout (for 'the old trout
') has worn rather thin.
For eight years in the On The Waterfront festival, we would present artists such as Theatre Smith-Gilmour, One Yellow Rabbit, and The Old Trout
Puppet Workshop for audiences of fifty or sixty people per night.
So don't mullet over, stop floundering around-get your skates on and, however kippered you feel, load the old trout
into the Saab turbo(t) and perch it outside.
And that's true literally as well as figuratively, as any oldster like me knows when forced to do Facetime, or, god help us, Skype (not to mention being caught in a shaft of unforgiving daylight or walking past a mirror and wondering who the jowly old trout
is - oh, yes, that'll be me).
Now in its fourth year, the programme is brimming over with award-winning international comedy acts, local folk humorists, pop-up shows, funny films and fringe performances including Tin Shed Theatre Co's Launchpad, German stand-up star Henning Wehn, a comedy gala featuring comics such as Pete Firman and Sara Pascoe, Comedy Film Binge, The Old Trout
Puppet Theatre, Gwerthu Allan Welsh Stand-up, Comedy Club For Kids and much more.
And that's the sight of old trout
Gail Platt approaching and cackling that she's going to be a grannie again.
Some highlights of the festival this year include Ignorance, by Calgary's own avant-garde puppeteers, the Old Trout
Puppet Workshop (featured on this issue's cover).
I knew I was the subject of hilarious exchanges by the frequent repetition of "the old trout
" or occasionally the slightly more affectionate "the poor old trout
" - as in "the poor old trout
has got the sniffles".
Pout is back with a very personal look at cosmetic surgery and its dangers.
This woman could make Kate Moss feel like an ugly old trout
. She has as much sensitivity as a worn-out boot.