monkey's uncle

(well) I'll be a monkey's uncle

An expression of surprise or amazement. Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle—Shane actually managed to get his movie made.
See also: uncle

monkey's uncle

An impossibility. Charles Darwin's theory of evolution, especially the notion that man was descended from apes, was greeted with much skepticism, and especially in parts of the English-speaking world where Creationism held sway. Hence the expression “Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle,” which was used to show grave doubts about any and all seemingly improbable situations. Another animal phrase used by doubters and scorners was “when pigs fly.”
See also: uncle
References in periodicals archive ?
As if we needed more proof these companies couldn't give a monkey's uncle about their customers.
British Gas fatcat bonus fuels anger; YOUR VOICE
Seriously, DO NOT READ THIS until you've seen the movie, or you'll be a monkey's uncle.
'War for the Planet of the Apes' and that emotional ending
John Henry and the other bigwigs from Fenway Sports do not give a monkey's uncle about Liverpool Football Club for itself alone, they are interested in it only for the profits it can generate to add to their wealth.
Profit not the fans matter to Fenway
Whether it will return them to rock's top table is arguable but if these songs don't close at least one festival this summer then I'm a Stone Age monkey's uncle.
ALBUMS
If that's false imprisonment and worthy of a one-year jail sentence I'm a monkey's uncle.
Debt crusade a real credit to your paper; Letter of the Week
If that wasn't the most compelling piece of sports TV you'll see all year, then I'm a monkey's uncle. What an incredible thing to see that many top-class jockeys go off that fast, like so many brightly coloured lemmings, their mounts becoming gradually slower and slower until they floundered as if they were gun horses retreating from the horrors of a World War One onslaught.
Success that stikes a blow for the nice guys
If the moon is made of green cheese (or some equally preposterous statement, P), then I'm a monkey's uncle (Q).
God is great
I seem to recall foreseeing that City would "make the play-offs or I'm a monkey's uncle!"
Football: City miss out on Operation Premier... Game On Sky Blue Saturday DICKY NAMEDROP'S* TONGUE-IN-CHEEK TAKE ON THE CITY YEAR
Also new to amateurs is the musical Just So, based on five of Rudyard Kipling's stories, and Monkey's Uncle, by David Lewis, described as a side-splitting farce for the 21st Century - again, from Weinberger.
CULTURE: Giving up when your identity goes down the toilet; John Slim tours the world of amateur theatre
SOUTH Wales' latest reality star may be nicknamed ``chimp'', but this monkey's uncle - Mickey Farrell - is very proud of her.
'Why we think Welsh Lisa's going to win Big Brother'
Answer: I'll be a monkey's uncle! Robin Falco San Francisco, California
Jokes & riddles
I remember there was one series at Arizona in 2001 where Mulder has a perfect game in the eighth and shut 'em out and Huddy gave up one run the next night, and I was like, "Monkey's uncle!"
A's Pitchers Barry Zito, Mark Mulder and Tim Hudson talk a good game. (1 ... 2 ... 3 ...)
Baroness Thatcher: If thatlady is not on HRT (1990), I'm a monkey's uncle. She is round and soft and sexy, very female indeed...
What she thought of other ministers
John McNeil, Clydebank, said: "I know a lot of Celtic fans won't want to hear this but the way Rangers are playing, if they don't win the league then I am a monkey's uncle.
Football: SPORTS HOTLINE: NEIL McLEMAN TAKES YOUR CALLS; A split decision on idea of clubs merging
And if further office visits alter that diagnosis, well, I'll be a monkey's uncle.
Animal Practice
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