in spite of (oneself)

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in spite of (oneself)

1. Despite one's own foibles, mistakes, or flaws. Somehow the Eagles managed to pull off a victory in spite of themselves. I knocked over my drink and called her the wrong name at one point, but all in all, I think the date went well in spite of myself.
2. Despite or against one's desire or intention. I was scared senseless when I realized there was a burglar in the house, but I laughed in spite of myself when he slipped on a banana peel on the kitchen floor.
See also: of, spite
Farlex Dictionary of Idioms. © 2015 Farlex, Inc, all rights reserved.

in spite of someone or something

without regard to someone or something; even though another course had been prescribed; ignoring a warning. In spite of her orders to stay, I left. In spite of the bad weather, I had fun on vacation.
See also: of, spite
McGraw-Hill Dictionary of American Idioms and Phrasal Verbs. © 2002 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.

in spite of

Regardless of, in defiance of, as in They kept on in spite of their fears. [c. 1400]
See also: of, spite
The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms by Christine Ammer. Copyright © 2003, 1997 by The Christine Ammer 1992 Trust. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

(do something) in ˈspite of yourself

(do something) even though you do not want or expect to: He was a bit depressed so I tried to cheer him up with a joke. He smiled in spite of himself.
See also: of, spite
Farlex Partner Idioms Dictionary © Farlex 2017

in spite of

Not stopped by; regardless of: They kept going in spite of their fears.
See also: of, spite
American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition. Copyright © 2016 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.
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References in periodicals archive ?
He revealed: "I over-think things too much, bombard my mind with negativity and then in spite of myself, I start to withdraw emotionally because I am afraid of getting hurt."
I like him a lot though; he's an interesting person, and I fan out often in spite of myself and in spite of the fact that I've known him off and on for eight years.
"I'm not sure I'm an intellectual," he told a group of students in Aix-en-Provence, "and as for the rest, I support the left wing in spite of myself and in spite of itself.