have a corncob up (one's) ass

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have a corncob up (one's) ass

1. vulgar slang To be very stiff, rigid, or inflexible in one's posture or demeanor. Primarily heard in US. The guy trundled around the stage so gracelessly and awkwardly, as if he had a corncob up his ass. You'd think she has a corncob up her ass from the way she sits in class.
2. vulgar slang To be very rigid or inflexible in one's opinions or beliefs. Primarily heard in US. My grandfather had a real corncob up his ass when it came to people living together or having children before marriage.
3. vulgar slang To be irritable, unfriendly, or humorless. Primarily heard in US. Geez, it was just a joke—you must have a corncob up your ass or something. I wouldn't mess around with Mr. Daniels, he's got a corncob up his ass today.
See also: ass, corncob, have, up

have a corncob up one's ass

 and have a poker up one's ass 
1. Inf. to be very stiff. (Use with caution.) How come you're acting so high-and-mighty with me? Do you have a corncob up your ass? He was a terrible actor, stiff and wooden. He looked like he had a poker up his ass.
2. Inf. to be very touchy or irritable. Wow! Old Mr. Webster really has a corncob up his ass this morning. Watch out! Tom has a poker up his ass and he's looking for you. Better make yourself scarce.
See also: ass, corncob, have, up