find it in one's heart, (not) to

find it in one's heart (to do something)

 and find it in oneself (to do something)
Fig. to have the courage or compassion to do something. She couldn't find it in herself to refuse to come home to him. I can't do it! I can't find it in my heart.
See also: find, heart

find it in one's heart

Persuade oneself to do something, as in They were an hour late, but I couldn't find it in my heart to scold them. This expression, today generally put in the negative, alludes to searching self-examination. [Mid-1400s]
See also: find, heart

find it in one's heart, (not) to

To be inclined to do something; or to be unwilling to do something. This expression implies that a person is doing considerable soul-searching concerning an action, and as a cliché it may be obsolescent. It first appeared in the sixteenth century, in Sir Thomas More’s Utopia: “They cannot find in their hearts to love the author thereof.” It also appears in the King James Bible (1611) in the second Book of Samuel (7:27): “Therefore hath thy servant found in his heart to pray this prayer unto thee.”
See also: find