doorknob


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(as) dead as a doorknob

1. Unequivocally dead. A: "Is the squirrel dead? Poke it with a stick and check." B: "Yep, dead as a doorknob." I poked that squirrel with a stick and, yeah, it's as dead as a doorknob. Any animal unlucky enough to run out into this busy street will end up dead as a doorknob.
2. Totally defunct. Oh, that idea from last week's meeting is as dead as a doorknob—the CEO just vetoed it. Good luck getting a refund from that company—it seems to be dead as a doorknob these days. Myspace was king in the early 2000s—and dead as a doorknob after Facebook came along.
See also: dead, doorknob

(as) dumb as a doorknob

Exceptionally foolish, dimwitted, or unintelligent. You thought you could fix the washing machine on your own, so you just started pulling it apart? I swear, sometimes you can be as dumb as a doorknob, Larry. I used to think that she was as dumb as a doorknob when we were kids, but she grew up to be a physicist. Are you dumb as a doorknob? Why would you touch the alarm when the sign clearly says "DO NOT TOUCH" in bold red letters?
See also: doorknob, dumb

be (as) dead as a doorknob

1. To be unequivocally dead. A: "Is the squirrel dead? Poke it with a stick and check." B: "Yep, it's dead as a doorknob."
2. To be totally defunct. Oh, that idea from last week's meeting is as dead as a doorknob—the CEO just vetoed it.
See also: dead, doorknob

be (as) dumb as a doorknob

To be exceptionally foolish, dimwitted, or unintelligent. You thought you could fix the washing machine on your own, so you just started pulling it apart? I swear, sometimes you can be as dumb as a doorknob, Larry. I used to think that she was as dumb as a doorknob when we were kids, but she grew up to be a physicist.
See also: doorknob, dumb

don't let the doorknob hit you where the dog should have bit you

colloquial Leave here quickly and directly; don't linger on your way out the door. Primarily heard in US. I couldn't be happier that you're leaving the firm—you were a nuisance here anyway. Don't let the doorknob hit you where the dog should have bit you! Get out of my house, you lying cheat—and don't let the doorknob it you where the dog should have bit you!
See also: bit, dog, doorknob, have, hit, let, should

Don't let the doorknob hit you where the good Lord split you!

colloquial The phrase likely originated in African-American vernacular. "Where the good Lord split you" refers to the intergluteal cleft (the crease of one's buttocks). Primarily heard in US.
1. Leave here quickly and directly; don't linger on your way out the door. If you're willing to work hard and put in the hours I ask, then I want you in my company. If not, well, then don't let the doorknob hit you where the good Lord split you, as my grandmother used to say.
2. Used to indicate that one is glad that someone is leaving or has left. Did you hear about the governor being forced to resign? Ha, serves him right. Don't let the doorknob hit you where the good Lord split you, creep!
See also: doorknob, good, hit, let, lord, split

hotter than a hooker's doorknob on nickel night

rude slang Very hot. Usually said in reference to air temperature. A: "I heard it's pretty warm out today." B: "Oh yeah, hotter than a hooker's doorknob on nickel night."
See also: doorknob, hot, nickel, night, on

slicker than snot on a doorknob

slang Very slippery. Be careful out there—ice has made the steps slicker than snot on a doorknob.
See also: doorknob, on, slicker, snot
Farlex Dictionary of Idioms. © 2022 Farlex, Inc, all rights reserved.
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References in periodicals archive ?
Taxpayers think doorknob hangers or blank receipts are sufficient information to complete the return.
When he took off, I grabbed the doorknob and mirror, but he continued driving.
However, after the computer equipment and doorknob were found in the pickup truck, Mr.
The person is automatically identified when they touch the doorknob or walk on the floor, and the transmission path is disconnected when the body and transceiver physically separate.
Michels suggests that copper, brass or bronze doorknobs and handles, push plates, countertops, sinks and other frequently touched hardware may help cut down on cross-contamination and the spread of infection.
The doorknob, which costs pounds 255 and runs off rechargeable batteries, is also able to keep a record of the last 1000 entries.
LEVERON from Lindustries is an adapter that converts any standard doorknob to a lever handle in seconds without removing existing hardware.
The Diamond Doorknob is a riveting read, which delves into issues of culture, relationships, gender and the search for meaningful lives.
She wore her halter and leash, and spent most days perched on a doorknob in the hall.
The Diamond Doorknob. Candler NC: Renegade Planets, 2003.
You try to sneak an extra piece of chocolate-obsession cake into your room and, just as you turn our doorknob, you hear your mom mumble, "Put it back." Or you come home from school and, with one glance, your parents have already diagnosed your bad case of Boy Trouble.
Either fill out the doorknob menu that some hotels have, or just call the night before and specify what time.
They can hang on a cabinet hook or doorknob holding a small bouquet of flowers with a refreshing, just-out-of-the-garden style, or they can go formal in a beautiful velvet fabric with a gold cord hanger displaying a single stem on the back of a chair at an elegant formal dinner.
Yellow Steel, a Portsmith, N.H., marketing firm, has launched www.wenailit.net, a Web site that offers contractors a chance to create direct mail, doorknob hangers, jobsite signs, and other marketing materials at reasonable cost.
MariJo Moore, Cherokee/Irish/Dutch, is editor of Genocide of the Mind: New Native Writings, author of Red Woman With Backward Eyes and Other Stories, and the novel The Diamond Doorknob. For more information, visit marijomoore.com