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(as) awkward as a cow on a crutch

Very clumsy or uncoordinated. When my toddler was first learning to walk, she was awkward as a cow on a crutch. He'll never make the basketball team—he's as awkward as a cow on a crutch.
See also: awkward, cow, crutch, on

(as) funny as a crutch

Not funny or amusing at all. Yeah, cancer is about as funny as a crutch, huh?
See also: crutch, funny

could eat the crutch out of a low-flying duck

rude slang Extremely hungry. Often added as emphasis to a literal statement of hunger. ("Crutch" is a variant of "crotch.") Crikey, I haven't eaten anything all day. I'm so hungry I could eat the crutch out of a low-flying duck!
See also: could, crutch, duck, eat, of, out
Farlex Dictionary of Idioms. © 2015 Farlex, Inc, all rights reserved.

*awkward as a cow on a crutch

 and *awkward as a cow on roller skates
very clumsy or off balance. (*Also: as ~.) When Lulu was overweight, she was awkward as a cow on a crutch. Tom will never be a gymnast. He's as awkward as a cow on roller skates!
See also: awkward, cow, crutch, on

*funny as a crutch

not funny at all. (Sarcastic. *Also: as ~.) Your trick is about as funny as a crutch. Nobody thought it was funny. The lame joke Ron told was as funny as a crutch, and we all yawned.
See also: crutch, funny
McGraw-Hill Dictionary of American Idioms and Phrasal Verbs. © 2002 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.


1. n. a car. (Streets.) That’s one fine crutch you got here, Bud.
2. n. a device to hold a marijuana cigarette butt. Here’s a crutch so you can finish your smoke.


n. a police car. (see also crutch = car.) Hey, bro, there’s a p-crutch behind you.
McGraw-Hill's Dictionary of American Slang and Colloquial Expressions Copyright © 2006 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
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References in periodicals archive ?
Habiyambere Pierre Damien is an old man living in Gikondo, in Kicukiro district; who received new crutches better than irreparable ones he used before.
The homeless man, known as "Bob", in his sleeping bag with his leg brace and crutches. Left: Itihaas owner Raj Rana
"It's brilliant, Elysia is now walking into school without her crutches. It's emotional for me watching her."
"Our player was hit with a crutch, leading to another of our players going to his assistance and punching the guy on the crutches.
FRIDAY AFTERNOON She arrives at JFK but without crutches SATURDAY She joins Brooklyn for birthday
I attended physio for several weeks and was given a new pair of crutches. When I asked what to do with the current pair, I was told to "skip them".
He put his crutches in his left hand, hopped over a row of seats - and started hopping for joy along with ecstatic Evertonians.
After the clinical testing was complete, each participant was issued with a crutch/ pair of crutches that was fitted to their spectacle frame.
Go Steady has also developed the Grooved Grip for its canes and crutches. The soft, comfortable grip fits all hand sizes and is designed to offer better control while lessening finger fatigue.
Bilateral brachial plexus compressive neuropathy associated with use of axillary crutches as a cause of diparesis is a rare and commonly misdiagnosed aetiology.
He said he was a man of good character and accepted that he had gone over the top to protect his partner, who was on crutches because she was recovering from a hip replacement operation.
A public official is expected to be crutches and polite!
TIM Krul has confirmed he is coming off crutches as the Newcastle United goalkeeper gradually continues his recovery from injury.
A PATIENT allegedly attacked a police officer in a hospital using crutches and then fled on foot - jumping on two cars and scaling a university gate.
The company developed the Better Walk Crutch as an alternative to traditional underarm or forearm crutches that removes force from the user's underarm area and distributes it along the user's body.