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Related to crutch: crutch palsy

(as) awkward as a cow on a crutch

Very clumsy or uncoordinated. When my toddler was first learning to walk, she was awkward as a cow on a crutch. He'll never make the basketball team—he's as awkward as a cow on a crutch.
See also: awkward, cow, crutch, on

*awkward as a cow on a crutch

 and *awkward as a cow on roller skates
very clumsy or off balance. (*Also: as ~.) When Lulu was overweight, she was awkward as a cow on a crutch. Tom will never be a gymnast. He's as awkward as a cow on roller skates!
See also: awkward, cow, crutch, on

*funny as a crutch

not funny at all. (Sarcastic. *Also: as ~.) Your trick is about as funny as a crutch. Nobody thought it was funny. The lame joke Ron told was as funny as a crutch, and we all yawned.
See also: crutch, funny


1. n. a car. (Streets.) That’s one fine crutch you got here, Bud.
2. n. a device to hold a marijuana cigarette butt. Here’s a crutch so you can finish your smoke.


n. a police car. (see also crutch = car.) Hey, bro, there’s a p-crutch behind you.
References in periodicals archive ?
The man raised his crutch in the air to stand up for himself, but Townsley snatched it from him and began circling him, hitting him to the legs with the crutch several times.
I panicked and quickly jumped on to stage waving the crutch and telling the sound guy to stop the music.
They then clashed again outside and Stevenson wielded his crutch.
Since crutch use changes the center of gravity, the crutch tips were placed in standardized positions on the force platform such that the velocity of sway was calculated within a theoretical center of gravity with the different types of crutches.
Ms Des Landes added: "It's not usually the case that someone deliberately holds on to a crutch.
It made me wonder if the single crutch that other street people can be seen carrying in this city has another purpose, as an aid to begging perhaps, and has no actual link to a physical disability.
But during a long afternoon of escorting the President past photographers, the crutch was nowhere in sight.
But the heartthrob singer made sure he wasn't homeless for long when he bought a well-known local mansion in an area known as Crutch.
Pink crutch, pink shoe," "green crutch, green shoe.
I could use a hand getting that crutch over there, Kenny.
STAFF at a Teesside hospital trust have declared a crutch amnesty and asked that people return walking aids that are no longer needed - to potentially save PS125,000.
A MAN battered with a crutch as he was beaten up by three young thugs believes he was the victim of a race hate attack.
A DRUNKEN Polish man who stumbled into a girl and grabbed her pony tale was hit over the head with a crutch by a youth.
A WOULD-BE gangster shot himself in the crutch when his gun went off half cocked in his pocket.
POLICE are hunting a man who attacked an innocent bystander with a crutch.