crutch

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(as) awkward as a cow on a crutch

Very clumsy or uncoordinated. When my toddler was first learning to walk, she was awkward as a cow on a crutch. He'll never make the basketball team—he's as awkward as a cow on a crutch. Yeah, you'll be awkward as a cow on a crutch for a while, but once you get used to it, you'll be surprised by how fun ice skating becomes.

See also: awkward, cow, crutch, on

(as) funny as a crutch

Not funny or amusing at all. Yeah, cancer is about as funny as a crutch, huh? Bob has been so morbid lately. Everything he says is as funny as a crutch. A: "I'm not too interested in seeing that comedian's latest special." B: "Yeah, I don't know why he's going to talk about the economic recession—we all know that's funny as a crutch."

See also: crutch, funny

could eat the crutch out of a low-flying duck

rude slang Extremely hungry. Often added as emphasis to a literal statement of hunger. ("Crutch" is a variant of "crotch.") Crikey, I haven't eaten anything all day. I'm so hungry I could eat the crutch out of a low-flying duck!

See also: could, crutch, duck, eat, of, out

Farlex Dictionary of Idioms. © 2022 Farlex, Inc, all rights reserved.

*awkward as a cow on a crutch

 and *awkward as a cow on roller skates

very clumsy or off balance. (*Also: as ~.) When Lulu was overweight, she was awkward as a cow on a crutch. Tom will never be a gymnast. He's as awkward as a cow on roller skates!

See also: awkward, cow, crutch, on

*funny as a crutch

not funny at all. (Sarcastic. *Also: as ~.) Your trick is about as funny as a crutch. Nobody thought it was funny. The lame joke Ron told was as funny as a crutch, and we all yawned.

See also: crutch, funny

McGraw-Hill Dictionary of American Idioms and Phrasal Verbs. © 2002 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.

crutch

1. n. a car. (Streets.) That’s one fine crutch you got here, Bud.

2. n. a device to hold a marijuana cigarette butt. Here’s a crutch so you can finish your smoke.

p-crutch

n. a police car. (see also crutch = car.) Hey, bro, there’s a p-crutch behind you.

McGraw-Hill's Dictionary of American Slang and Colloquial Expressions Copyright © 2006 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.