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When we stayed at a hotel before an away match, the players would laugh at him ordering hotel staff to take the cheese off our lasagnes or ordering a specific weight of broccoli.
Other options for lemons: clean your microwave; soothe sunburns; scrub stuck-on food; sanitize a cutting board; add highlights to your hair; banish greasy hair; clean stuck cheese off a grater; get rid of dragon breath; freshen musty areas; and lighten age spots.
She'll tell you what to do for black spot on tomatoes, while she weighs out your turnip seed, or slices you a pound of hoop cheese off the wheel.
He explained: "It would cheese me off to a degree and I think it would cheese off anybody - but you've got to accept that for what it is.
Of course, it wasn't that long ago the animal rights lobby (animal rights, not animal welfare) had their foot in their mouth by trying to get milk and cheese off the school mealtime agenda.
As usual, the meeting will take place at Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese off Fleet Street (12.30pm for 1pm).
"I'm sure they wouldn't want to cheese off 25 per cent of the most loyal, longest serving staff," says Woolies boss Trevor Bish-Jones.