'This Will Kill You' plastered across a packet of Silk Cut has never stopped smokers sucking on a
cancer stick.
The tobacco industry got away with selling
cancer sticks for years, so why shouldn't the farmers be allowed to carry on selling beef on the bone, beef off the bone, beef off the spleen, beef off the abbatoir floor...I mean, they've got to make a killing - sorry, a living - haven't they?
I'm usually a nicotine-free zone, but find myself in solidarity with the huddled masses - those refugees from fagless offices who shiver outside, clutching
cancer sticks.
All that marred this passionate scene was the pair of
cancer sticks poking out of their fists.
Prior to running for the Tory leadership, Ken Clarke was in Vietnam, encouraging the people of that poor, undeveloped country to develop a taste for sucking on
cancer sticks. Why?
For years cigarettes have been called "
cancer sticks" and "lung busters".
On the face of it, substantially raising the cost of
cancer sticks sounds like a perfectly reasonable attempt to encourage smokers to quit.
Surely the sacrifice of stubbing out the
cancer sticks is far outweighed by the anticipation of one day being a doting Grandpa Shields?
Well, apparently Jack Osbourne is too scared to tell his dad that he likes taking the odd puff on the
cancer sticks. It seems that the mouthy Osbourne, with the unfortunate Afro hair, has gone all chicken on us.
On this duty free island, 200
cancer sticks will cost you less than pounds 7.
CIGARETTES aren't called
cancer sticks for nothing.
APART from chucking in the
cancer sticks, we reckon Mel B's New Year's resolution should be to find herself a decent hairdresser.
She cheerfully called them
cancer sticks, but made the educated choice and the old girl did have a BSc that she preferred to keep on puffing.
AND while Kate was stocking up on
cancer sticks, her other half looked as though he was preparing to for a swift exit...
If you are, love, you'd better give up those
cancer sticks quick smart...
