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bash the bishop

vulgar slang To masturbate. A term only applied to men. A: "Why is he all embarrassed today?" B: "Oh, his crush walked in on him bashing the bishop. How horrifying is that?"
See also: bash, bishop

beat the bishop

vulgar slang To masturbate. A term only applied to men. A: "Why is he all embarrassed today?" B: "Oh, his crush walked in on him beating the bishop. How horrifying is that?"
See also: beat, bishop

as the actress said to the bishop

A humorous expression used to add a sexual connotation to an innocuous phrase. A: "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to touch you there." B: "As the actress said to the bishop!"
See also: actress, bishop, said

As the actress said to the bishop...

A phrase used to point out or emphasize that a remark had a risqué double meaning, whether or not it was intended. The phrase, first heard in Britain in the mid-20th century, contrasts a worldly actress and a very proper clergyman to whom such double meanings had to be pointed out. It also took the form of “as the bishop said to the actress,” “as the schoolmaster said to the schoolgirl,” and any number of other combinations. Mae West's repartees, such as replying to a man's saying, “I've heard so much about you” with “Yeah, but you can't prove it,” coming from almost anyone else would qualify for an “As the actress said to the bishop . . .”
See also: actress, said
References in classic literature ?
Unless, indeed," resumed the bishop ironically, "it be the destiny of your race, that the brothers excluded from the throne should be always princes void of courage and honesty, as was your uncle, M.
You have to ask me for my receipt for one hundred and fifty thousand livres," said the bishop.
The Prior of Emmet and those that belonged to him gathered together like a flock of frightened sheep when the scent of the wolf is nigh, while the Bishop of Hereford, laying aside his book, crossed himself devoutly.
Then the Bishop of Hereford spoke hastily, "I, too, have no business here, and so will depart.
Then at last jolly Robin turned to the Bishop of Hereford, who had been looking on at all that passed with a grim look.
cried the Bishop earnestly; for he knew right well what manner of feast it was that Robin Hood gave his guests in Sherwood Forest.
At length, however, Wyclif was once more brought before a court of bishops in London.
Mr Merdle signifying that the idea should have his best attention, Bishop put another case:
Mr Merdle made a similar reply, and Bishop explained his reason for inquiring.
Bar and Bishop had both been bystanders during this short dialogue, and as Mr Merdle was swept away by the crowd, they made their remarks upon it to the Physician.
It was a terrific idea," says Bishop, who was persuaded into buying the company's debenture two years ago and inherited the assets, which included about a half-million dollars worth of the Kevlar material.
Mobility led to the formation of a unified episcopal esprit de corps, so that by the nineteenth century the regional origins of a bishop played virtually no role in shaping his identity.
To get the bishop from the hearse up to the burial site at the top of the hill took major muscle, and none of the pallbearers spoke during the climb.
Several of the church's 110 dioceses refuse to ordain women, while others disagree with Bishop Jefferts Schori's more-liberal attitudes toward homosexuality.
To Bishop Cazabon, it seemed "essential that we focus on the core of our faith and centre the whole process on a true experience of Jesus Christ.