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bash the bishop

vulgar slang To masturbate. A term only applied to men. A: "Why is he all embarrassed today?" B: "Oh, his crush walked in on him bashing the bishop. How horrifying is that?"
See also: bash, bishop

beat the bishop

vulgar slang To masturbate. A term only applied to men. A: "Why is he all embarrassed today?" B: "Oh, his crush walked in on him beating the bishop. How horrifying is that?"
See also: beat, bishop

as the actress said to the bishop

A humorous expression used to add a sexual connotation to an innocuous phrase. A: "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to touch you there." B: "As the actress said to the bishop!"
See also: actress, bishop, said

as the actress said to the bishop

used humorously to call attention to a sexual double entendre , especially an unintended one.
The cast of characters can be reversed without changing the meaning of the expression: as the bishop said to the actress .
2005 New Zealand Listener Some of Charles's antipodean witticisms— …‘it all became too big for me, as the actress said to the bishop’ – sounded several centuries old.
See also: actress, bishop, said

As the actress said to the bishop...

A phrase used to point out or emphasize that a remark had a risqué double meaning, whether or not it was intended. The phrase, first heard in Britain in the mid-20th century, contrasts a worldly actress and a very proper clergyman to whom such double meanings had to be pointed out. It also took the form of “as the bishop said to the actress,” “as the schoolmaster said to the schoolgirl,” and any number of other combinations. Mae West's repartees, such as replying to a man's saying, “I've heard so much about you” with “Yeah, but you can't prove it,” coming from almost anyone else would qualify for an “As the actress said to the bishop . . .”
See also: actress, said
References in classic literature ?
Both the Bishop and my father were embarrassed and perturbed.
And so it came about that both the Bishop and I accepted Ernest's challenges.
Now belike I see a worthy friar in the back of this church who can say a better service than ever my lord Bishop of Hereford.
Mr Merdle made a similar reply, and Bishop explained his reason for inquiring.
Bar and Bishop had both been bystanders during this short dialogue, and as Mr Merdle was swept away by the crowd, they made their remarks upon it to the Physician.
To get the bishop from the hearse up to the burial site at the top of the hill took major muscle, and none of the pallbearers spoke during the climb.
Several of the church's 110 dioceses refuse to ordain women, while others disagree with Bishop Jefferts Schori's more-liberal attitudes toward homosexuality.
In your letter of January 1, 1998, you submitted to this Dicastery several questions about the position of the Holy See and of the Bishop of Mostar in regard to the so-called apparitions of Medjugorje, private pilgrimages and the pastoral care of the faithful who go there.
For five years the bishop and his church had been the focus of attacks led by a defrocked Orthodox priest, Father Basil Mkalavishvili.
Bishop Sheridan's letter to 125,000 Catholics in his charge regarding the "duties of Catholic politicians and voters," intensified the debate by suggesting that Catholic voters should also refrain from taking the sacrament if they support politicians like Kerry.
Rather than covering Bishop Hovius' life in full, they present sixteen snapshots, chronologically arranged, to bring his world alive, from his battle to put the archdiocese on a firm financial footing (chap.
Bishop, 53, calls himself Antelope Valley's only full-time sidewalk astronomer.
But Bishop, a mechanical engineer and consultant, has been working on a reusable flood-control barrier that can be deployed in the field within minutes and then be folded up and whisked away just as fast.
Mobility led to the formation of a unified episcopal esprit de corps, so that by the nineteenth century the regional origins of a bishop played virtually no role in shaping his identity.
Most outrageous of all, the Episcopal Church's relatively new presiding bishop, Frank Griswold, who has presented himself as gay-friendly, abstained on the antigay resolution and waited a week before offering up, by way of explanation, an elegantly worded--but, to me, thoroughly unconscionable and cowardly--apologia for appeasement.