hatch, match, and dispatch

dated The variant spelling "despatch" is sometimes used.

1. adjective Of, describing, or relating to the major events of one's life: birth ("hatch"), marriage ("match"), and death ("dispatch"). They want all this information about Grandpa to process the transfer of the deed. Do you know where I can find his hatch, match, and dispatch documents? A: "What's in that locked, fireproof box?" B: "Well, all of our hatch, match, and dispatch paperwork, for one." Grandma always talks about how you used to be able to read the hatch, match, and dispatch write-ups in the local newspaper.

2. verb To carry out the formal ceremonies associated with birth, marriage, and death. I want the same priest to marry us that hatched, matched, and dispatched Aunt Mary. It's a shock to me that Reginald is getting married. I never thought he'd be hatched, matched, and dispatched. Well, you won't be hatched, matched, and dispatched by the same priest—he was about 100 when you were born!