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turd in the punchbowl

vulgar slang Something or someone that spoils, ruins, or needlessly complicates a situation or circumstance; a disagreeable nuisance or source of irritation. For these greedy corporate executives, restrictions put in place by regulators to protect consumers are just turds in the punchbowl. Not to be the turd in the punchbowl, but I really think we should take this money we found to the police, instead of keeping it for ourselves.
See also: turd

polish a turd

slang To make something unpleasant seem more appealing than it really is—which is often a futile effort. "Turd" is a slang term for a piece of feces. Look, man, your term paper was bad before, and all of your edits are just making it worse—polishing a turd won't make it better.
See also: polish, turd

you can't polish a turd

You can't make something unpleasant seem more appealing than it really is—attempting to do so is often a futile effort. "Turd" is a slang term for a piece of feces. Look, man, your term paper was bad before, and all of your edits are just making it worse—you can't polish a turd, you know.
See also: polish, turd


1. noun An unpleasant or irritating person. Geez, that guy just won't shut up—he's a real birdturd.
2. noun Bird excrement. Ugh, I just washed my car, and there's birdturd on it already!
3. adjective Unpleasant, irritating, or stupid. Wow, that was a real birdturd speech—I can't believe they let him address the whole congregation.

ghost turd

slang A ball or clump of lint, as found in an area that needs to be dusted. Grandma will be here any minute, so we need to finish cleaning—please don't leave any ghost turds behind!
See also: ghost, turd


1. n. an obnoxious person. (Rude and derogatory.) You silly birdturd. Wake up!
2. mod. stupid; obnoxious; lousy; worthless. (Usually objectionable.) Of all the stupid, underhanded, birdturd tricks—this takes the cake!
3. n. bird dung, especially if dried. (Usually objectionable.) There’s birdturd on your shoe.

ghost turd

n. a wad of lint, as found under a bed. (Use caution with turd.) There’s a lot of ghost turds under the bed.
See also: ghost, turd


1. n. a formed mass of fecal material; a fecal bolus. (Usually objectionable.) There’s a turd floating in the swimming pool!
2. n. a wretched or worthless person. (Rude and derogatory.) You stupid turd!

turd face

n. a wretched and obnoxious person. (Rude and derogatory.) You stupid turd face! Why did you do that?
See also: face, turd
References in periodicals archive ?
We rated them not in order, but with a Deer Turd rating on a scale of one to 10, 10 being the ultimate loser for deer hunting.
I can't believe how many of those whiney little turds wrote in to you about that kick-ass ad.
Next up is the Cross-Clyde Swim with a bonus on offer for collecting turds in a poly bag and double points available if you spot a live fish.
The six shiny elephant turds in Afrodizzia, 1996, are studded, voodoo style, with the names of Miles Davis, James Brown, and Cassius Clay, and do not so much interrupt as punctuate - even syncopate - a background of explosive Technicolor mayhem in which coilaged heads of black heroes (each sporting his own painted-on Afro) float and bob amidst kaleidoscopic layers of intense patterning.
So how can a woman who takes revenge on her perceived enemies by mailing her turds to them, pass comment on another's ugliness?
I was standing around on the day of the finals with my stupid non-digital camera thinking "None of this shit is remotely cool Skateboarding sucks a bag of turds, there will be no Tampa Am article this year.
Perhaps the most provocative work on show will be Chris Oflil's paintings with elephant turds - "organically inert examples," explains Flood - imported in the form of stained and scarified Afro-English abstractions.
Taking my daughter on to the three-foot expanse of shale by a lake which was covered in what looked like dog turds, then asking when it would be cleaned up, only to be told: "Most of our guests feel the swan droppings add to the ambience, sir.
PRINCE Charles yesterday likened ugly modern architecture to turds.
Instead there are rooms, pits, black seas, darkness, and turds.
Well, how about one of those small replica dog turds that can be bought in joke shops?
The TURDS will not tolerate discrimination against a brother on grounds of ill health - in this case, the acute amnesia that led Rio to wander off so soon after being told that the drug testers wanted a word; to forget to put his mobile phone on; and then to go shopping, forgetting he was moving house and supposed to be packing all his books on Marx and Engels and whatever else leading trade unionists like to read these days.