If that don't beat all!
If that don't beat all!and That beats everything!; Don't that (just) beat all!
Rur. That surpasses everything!; That is amazing!; That takes the cake! (The grammar error, that don't is built into this catchphrase.) Tom: The mayor is kicking the baseball team out of the city. Bill: If that don't beat all! John: Now, here's a funny thing. South America used to be attached to Africa. Fred: That beats everything! John: Yeah.