I advised the reader to consult a librarian and read a couple of books on the subject for the would-be fizbo
(or FSBO, for sale by owner).
While that's pretty much the way every day starts for me, I had never seen my dog, Fizbo (pictured), exhibit these symptoms.
After an ultrasound, I was met back in the lobby by a small posse of professionals who revealed that Fizbo, and I hope I have the technical language right, was "a really sick little dog." I also heard them say "emergency" and "surgery"--words that on their own are plenty forbidding enough.
When we got to Fizbo's cage, he was sitting up with an IV already in his paw, just wagging his tail and smiling.
By the time I counted the many vet visits, diagnostic tests, surgery, intensive care, travel and pharmacy, it added up to almost $6,000, not including the psychotropic medications and psychotherapy required for me to cope with the possibility of life after Fizbo.
In dog dollars, $6,000 is actually $6 million, so it turns out Fizbo and TV's Six Million Dollar Man have matching price tags--although so far, Fizbo exhibits few of Steve Austin's post-surgery strengths.
He is an excellent drummer and a trained clown, calling himself 'Fizbo
Every Fourth of July, while the rest of the nation celebrates independence by detonating a psychedelic minefield in the sky, Fizbo (1) mounts a passionate protest.
I'm no pet psychologist, but I'm pretty sure Fizbo has PIDCSD.
When that happens, it can't be long before one opens in Fizbo's neighborhood, and I'm crossing my fingers that it will be in time.
One thing is certain--a nation of crazed and shell-shocked Fizbos will soon desperately need our help.
Sometimes I'm accompanied by my adorable dog, Fizbo
. Sometimes I go alone, just to maintain my alpha dominance.
Fizbo (the CDITW) and I left home for our daily walk as we always do, that playful little bundle of unadulterated joy pulling at the leash as if to say, "Move it, Tubby.
Finally, after what seemed like hours or days, Fizbo and I backed slowly away, and the owl mercifully and inexplicably let us depart in peace.
Or perhaps I should try diplomacy, preemptively offering up Fizbo in trade for a long-term peace between owl and man.