(as) useless as tits on a bull

vulgar slang Utterly ineffectual or unnecessary. Primarily heard in Australia. Hey, thanks for the broken wrench—it's as useless as tits on a bull. I know next to nothing about computers, so I'd be useless as tits on a bull trying to figure out what's wrong with your laptop.

See also: bull, on, tit, useless

See also:

(as) useful as tits on a bull
(as) useless as an ashtray on a motorbike
useless
(as) worthless as tits on a boar (hog)
(as) useless as tits on a nun
nun
tits on a boar hog
(as) useless as tits on a boar hog
get on (one's) tits
get on someone's tits

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(as) thick as a short plank
(as) thick as mince
(as) thick as pea soup
(as) thick as pig shit
(as) thick as thieves
(as) thick as two planks
(as) thick as two short planks
(as) thin as a rail
(as) thin as a rake
(as) thin as a stick
(as) tight as a drum
(as) tight as a tick
(as) tight as Dick's hatband
(as) tough as (old) (shoe) leather
(as) tough as an old boot
(as) tough as leather
(as) tough as nails
(as) tough as old boots
(as) true as steel
(as) ugly as a toad
(as) ugly as sin
(as) useful as a chocolate teapot
(as) useful as tits on a bull
(as) useless as an ashtray on a motorbike
(as) useless as tits on a boar hog
(as) useless as tits on a bull
(as) useless as tits on a nun
(as) vain as a peacock
(as) warm as toast
(as) weak as a baby
(as) weak as a kitten
(as) wet as a drowned rat
(as) white as a ghost
(as) white as a sheet
(as) white as snow
(as) white as the driven snow
(as) wily as a fox
(as) wise as an owl
(as) wise as Solomon
(as) worthless as tits on a boar (hog)
(at) full pelt
(at) full steam
(at) full throttle
(at) full tilt
(be) careful what you wish for(, (because) you just might get it)
(be) with you in a minute
(be) with you in a moment
(Bill) Cosby sweater
(both) feet on the ground
(boy,) am I glad to see you!
(Boy,) is my face red!
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(as) sweet as sugar
(as) swift as an arrow
(as) swift as lightning
(as) swift as the wind
(as) swift as thought
(as) thick as a brick
(as) thick as a short plank
(as) thick as mince
(as) thick as pea soup
(as) thick as thieves
(as) thick as two planks
(as) thick as two short planks
(as) thin as a rail
(as) thin as a rake
(as) thin as a stick
(as) tight as a drum
(as) tight as a tick
(as) tight as Dick's hatband
(as) tough as (old) (shoe) leather
(as) tough as an old boot
(as) tough as leather
(as) tough as nails
(as) tough as old boots
(as) true as steel
(as) ugly as a toad
(as) ugly as sin
(as) useful as a chocolate teapot
(as) useful as tits on a bull
(as) useless as an ashtray on a motorbike
(as) useless as tits on a boar hog
(as) useless as tits on a bull
(as) useless as tits on a nun
(as) vain as a peacock
(as) warm as toast
(as) weak as a baby
(as) weak as a kitten
(as) wet as a drowned rat
(as) white as a ghost
(as) white as a sheet
(as) white as snow
(as) white as the driven snow
(as) wily as a fox
(as) wise as an owl
(as) wise as Solomon
(as) worthless as tits on a boar (hog)
(at) full pelt
(at) full steam
(at) full throttle
(at) full tilt
(be) careful what you wish for(, (because) you just might get it)
(be) with you in a minute
(be) with you in a moment
(Bill) Cosby sweater
(both) feet on the ground
(boy,) am I glad to see you!
(Boy,) is my face red!
(brand) spanking new
(but) not in the biblical sense
(but) still and all
(but) that's another story
(butter and) egg money
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