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If frogs had wheels, they wouldn't bump their butts,

 and If a toady frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass.
Rur. It is useless to wish for impossible things. (Use caution with ass.) Tom: If I had two hundred thousand dollars, I could buy that farm. Jane: Yeah, and if frogs had wheels, they wouldn't bump their butts. Charlie: If I were rich and famous, I'd make people listen to me. Bill: If a toady frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass.
See also: bump, butt, frog, if

toady (up) to someone

to fawn over someone; to try to flatter and impress someone. Carl is always toadying up to people. He has never toadied to me!
See also: toady
References in periodicals archive ?
The EU is well aware that its sanctions will not undermine the resolve of the Islamic Iran's great nation and they approved these sanctions merely as a political measure to toady to their bosses," Rapporteur of the parliament's Economic Commission Seyed Ali Mousavi Jaraf told FNA.
Cairo, Ramadan 9, 1435, Jul 6, 2014, SPA -- The Arab League condemned toady the terrorist attacks that targeted a border guards patrol and a government building in Saudi Arabia's southern Sharora region.
Bad enough that the Sky Blues manager took a bottle of whisky down for Arsene - toady with a toddy, as it's been described - before the ungrateful Gunners whipped us 4-0 in the Cup.
About the members of commission he told final decision in this regard would be taken toady.
Farzand Ali Mengal was kidnapped toady (Thursday ) by unknown men in the Surab area when he was on way to Karachi from Quetta, while two other lawyers including Agha Abdul Zahir and Munir Mirwani have been listed as missing for couple of weeks.
Then Toady, as I now called him, suddenly stopped, exhausted.
Multi-product company Gamma Holding (Euronext: GAMMA) toady reported a net loss of EUR0.
Provider of computing and graphic solutions Advanced Micro Devices (AMD) (NYSE: AMD) announced toady the shipment of its two millionth DirectX 11-capable graphics processor to its technology partners.
The professors, who are 'hungry' for power, are not any better; they would do anything to be named rector of this university: first they toady to BDI leader Ali Ahmeti, then they toady to PDSH Chairman Menduh Thaci.
Cllr Brice will present the petition to the council's Cabinet toady.
Toady, workers in offices in the Brackla Street Shopping Centre were unable to get their cars out of the car park after police cordons were erected.
Bush and his toady Blair are being manipulated by international Zionism.
Danish heating, ventilation and dehumidification systems manufacturer Dantherm Holding A/S issued its year-end report for 2002 toady (21 March), posting a pro forma turnover of DKK1,310m, as compared to DKK1,264m in 2001.