thick as a short plank

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*thick as a short plank

 and *thick as two short planks
exceptionally dim-witted. (*Also: as ~.) Dumb? He's as thick as a short plank, more like. Oh, I'd not say she was stupid. As thick as two short planks, yes, but stupid? Never!
See also: plank, short, thick
References in periodicals archive ?
He looked as thick as two short planks when asked to go forward but, when the penny finally did drop, he shot to the front inside the last to score by three and a quarter lengths from Lord Ofthe Shadows.
Despite looking as thick as two short planks, Pastoral Player got the hang of what was needed entering the final furlong and wasn't seriously extended to beat Locksley Hall by a neck and earn a step up in class.
But sometimes he's as thick as two short planks and it's the wife in the audience who is miles brighter.
But sometimes he is as thick as two short planks and it's the wife in the audience who is miles brighter.
There was not a lot to know other than it was packed with loonies who loved to scream and shout - and were as thick as two short planks.