thick as two short planks


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(as) thick as two short planks

Remarkably stupid, dimwitted, or obtuse. I smoked a lot of marijuana when I was in high school, so I turned out thick as two short planks by the time I finally graduated. Jen's new girlfriend is very nice, but she's as thick as two short planks.
See also: plank, short, thick, two

(as) thick as two short ˈplanks

(informal) (also (as) thick as ˈshit taboo, slang) (British English) (of a person) very stupid: Because she’s a model, people assume she’s as thick as two short planks, but she isn’t. OPPOSITE: (as) bright as a button
Thick is the opposite of thin and can also mean ‘stupid’ in informal language.
See also: plank, short, thick, two
References in periodicals archive ?
He looked as thick as two short planks when asked to go forward but, when the penny finally did drop, he shot to the front inside the last to score by three and a quarter lengths from Lord Ofthe Shadows.
Despite looking as thick as two short planks, Pastoral Player got the hang of what was needed entering the final furlong and wasn't seriously extended to beat Locksley Hall by a neck and earn a step up in class.
But sometimes he's as thick as two short planks and it's the wife in the audience who is miles brighter.
But sometimes he is as thick as two short planks and it's the wife in the audience who is miles brighter.
There was not a lot to know other than it was packed with loonies who loved to scream and shout - and were as thick as two short planks.