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have a corncob up one's ass

 and have a poker up one's ass 
1. Inf. to be very stiff. (Use with caution.) How come you're acting so high-and-mighty with me? Do you have a corncob up your ass? He was a terrible actor, stiff and wooden. He looked like he had a poker up his ass.
2. Inf. to be very touchy or irritable. Wow! Old Mr. Webster really has a corncob up his ass this morning. Watch out! Tom has a poker up his ass and he's looking for you. Better make yourself scarce.
See also: ass, have, up

*stiff as a poker

rigid and inflexible; stiff and awkward. (Usually used to describe people. *Also: as ~.) This guy's dead. He's cold and as stiff as a poker. John is not a very good dancer; he's stiff as a poker.
See also: poker, stiff

poker face

A visage lacking any expression that can be interpreted, as in Whenever Betty attended one of her children's performances, she managed to keep a poker face . This term alludes to the facial expression of a poker player who is expert at concealing his feelings about his hand. [c. 1880]
See also: face, poker

stiff as a board

Also, stiff as a poker. Inflexible, rigidly formal, unbending, as in This cloth is stiff as a board; what happened to it? or There he stood, stiff as a poker, unwilling to give an inch. The board in the first simile for rigidity is a slab of wood; the second, alluding to the iron implement used to push around logs in open fires, dates from the late 1700s.
See also: board, stiff

stiff as a board

If you or your body are as stiff as a board, you are very stiff. You'll achieve flexibility very quickly with these exercises — even if you're as stiff as a board at your first session. His lower back felt as stiff as a board.
See also: board, stiff

(as) stiff as a ˈboard

(of things) very firm and difficult to bend or move: He left his gloves outside in the snow, and when he found them again they were as stiff as a board.
See also: board, stiff

(as) stiff as a ˈpoker

(informal) (usually of people) very straight or upright in the way you sit or stand: The old lady was sitting upright in her chair, stiff as a poker.
See also: poker, stiff
References in periodicals archive ?
You can't find a better facility for poker than this one,'' boasts Kulis, a technical pioneer in closed-circuit boxing promotions and pay-per-view entrepreneur who once had the vision to put $33 million on the table with the NCAA a few years back, hoping to stage a true national college football championship game.
Poker is an example of a game of incomplete information in which chance plays a role.
888 Poker seems confident that it can live up to commitments to all players, including in Spain and in Canada," Taylor said.
The personality who launched the poker boom is the conveniently named Chris Moneymaker, an Internet poker player who had never played in an over-the-table tournament before he won $2.
Party Poker also has its finger on the pulse of the online poker community, which has been evidenced by its sponsorship of Canadian pro poker player Kara Scott," Taylor added.
Last year, the World Poker Tour ``Ladies Night Out'' premiere on the Travel Channel was the most-watched poker game in history, with more than 5 million viewers.
Canadian online poker players prefer competition with Americans, and because 888 Poker and Party Poker will be the first to welcome American players back, Canadians want to be ahead of the game by having an account with these sites.
Taylor continues "Party Poker is another poker site with a clean reputation that has done well this past year," added Taylor.
Party Poker, another publicly traded company with stringent regulation and a great reputation, has similarly inspired Canadian online poker players to remain optimistic about the game even after such a tumultuous year.
888 Poker has been focusing on the Canadian online poker market for quite some time by sponsoring players and athletes from Canada like St-Pierre and Bonkowski, sponsoring live tournaments across the country like the 888 Poker Super Stack and the Canadian University Poker Championship, promoting their new online poker software, which at this point outperforms all others," Taylor continued.
Party Poker has followed a similar path in Canada post-Black Friday," Taylor added.
888 Poker has long held a prominent place in the Canadian online poker market, and became even more popular after Black Friday," Taylor continued.
ca) reports that Canadian poker pro Daniel Negreanu has become one of the most visible and vocal advocates for poker in the world.
ca) reports that despite the major setback the poker industry faced following PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker, and other sites being shut down, online poker is once again becoming the focus of the industry's future.
In the wake of Full Tilt Poker and PokerStars online poker shutdown, U.