plank

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be (as) thick as a short plank

To be remarkably stupid, dimwitted, or obtuse. I smoked a lot of marijuana when I was in high school, so I was as thick as a short plank by the time I finally graduated. Jen's new girlfriend is very nice, but she's thick as a short plank.
See also: plank, short, thick

(as) thick as two short planks

Remarkably stupid, dimwitted, or obtuse. I smoked a lot of marijuana when I was in high school, so I turned out thick as two short planks by the time I finally graduated. Jen's new girlfriend is very nice, but she's as thick as two short planks.
See also: plank, short, thick, two

be (as) thick as two short planks

To be remarkably stupid, dimwitted, or obtuse. I was as thick as two short planks back in high school. Good thing I straightened out in college. Jen's new girlfriend is very nice, but she's thick as two short planks.
See also: plank, short, thick, two

(as) thick as a short plank

Remarkably stupid, dimwitted, or obtuse. Primarily heard in US. You're thick as a short plank if you think you can swim across that river. I must have been as thick as a short plank when I was younger, because I sure did some stupid things.
See also: plank, short, thick

plank over something

to cover something over with planking. The county planked over the old bridge so bicyclists could use it.
See also: plank

*thick as a short plank

 and *thick as two short planks
exceptionally dim-witted. (*Also: as ~.) Dumb? He's as thick as a short plank, more like. Oh, I'd not say she was stupid. As thick as two short planks, yes, but stupid? Never!
See also: plank, short, thick

walk the plank

Fig. to suffer punishment at the hand of someone. (Fig. on the image of pirates making their blindfolded captives die by walking off the end of a plank jutting out over the open sea.) Fred may think he can make the members of my department walk the plank, but we will fight back. Tom thought he could make John walk the plank, but John fought back.
See also: plank, walk

walk the plank

Be forced to resign, as in We were sure that Ted hadn't left of his own accord; he'd walked the plank. This metaphoric idiom alludes to a form of execution used in the 17th century, mainly by pirates, whereby a victim was forced to walk off the end of a board placed on the edge of the ship's deck and so drown. [Second half of 1800s]
See also: plank, walk

walk the plank

JOURNALISM
If someone in a position of authority walks the plank, they accept responsibility for something bad that has happened and leave their position. The company announced its new sales figures today, six weeks after the crisis that saw its chief executive walk the plank. Note: Many people believe that pirates used to kill their prisoners by forcing them to walk along a plank or gangplank sticking out from the edge of a ship until they fell into the sea.
See also: plank, walk

thick as two planks

or

thick as two short planks

BRITISH, INFORMAL
If someone is as thick as two planks or as thick as two short planks, they are very stupid. His people regarded him as a great and wise king. In fact he was as thick as two planks.
See also: plank, thick, two

walk the plank

To be forced, as by pirates, to walk off a plank extended over the side of a ship so as to drown.
See also: plank, walk
References in periodicals archive ?
Planking is also known as “the lying down game” and players must be rigid, like a wooden plank, with their faces down and arms to their sides.
These bars were rather close together and nicely rounded for pressure-relieving planking.
All told, some 300 radiographs have been taken of the ship's hull planking and timbers.
Planking -- also known as the Lying Down Game -- is the trend of lying face down, perfectly stiff, on various structures in public.
Planking, the art of lying straight down to mimic a wooden plank to surprise and amuse people, also known as the 'lying down' game, is becoming popular worldwide.
Celebrities like British chef Gordon Ramsay, American actress Rosario Dawson and American R andB singers Usher and Chris Brown are among a host of celebrities who have posted planking snaps.
Planking involves lying face down, palms flat against your sides, and your feet firmly together.
Both Planking and Owling are catching on like wildfire.
Dawson, 32, expressed regret on not knowing about planking when she hit the catwalk for a charity fashion show at the Cannes Film Festival in France last month.
Planking, also known as the 'lying down' game, is an activity that has become a Facebook sensation even though it poses danger to the person doing that.
It prompted a flurry of comments from planking enthusiasts and was splashed across the front page of the New Zealand Herald, the biggest selling daily newspaper.
htm) Planking Still a Popular Facebook Fad Despite Owling's Emergence, But Who Created Planking?
In what is thought to be Australia's first planking fatality, Beale fell after slipping off a 5cm-wide balcony railing.
Planking was created over three years ago in England.
Owling is the new trend after planking, just days old, where people pose for pictures crouching like an owl in unusual places.