plank


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be (as) thick as a short plank

To be remarkably stupid, dimwitted, or obtuse. I smoked a lot of marijuana when I was in high school, so I was as thick as a short plank by the time I finally graduated. Jen's new girlfriend is very nice, but she's thick as a short plank.
See also: plank, short, thick

(as) thick as two short planks

Remarkably stupid, dimwitted, or obtuse. I smoked a lot of marijuana when I was in high school, so I turned out thick as two short planks by the time I finally graduated. Jen's new girlfriend is very nice, but she's as thick as two short planks.
See also: plank, short, thick, two

be (as) thick as two short planks

To be remarkably stupid, dimwitted, or obtuse. I was as thick as two short planks back in high school. Good thing I straightened out in college. Jen's new girlfriend is very nice, but she's thick as two short planks.
See also: plank, short, thick, two

(as) thick as a short plank

Remarkably stupid, dimwitted, or obtuse. You're thick as a short plank if you think you can swim across that river. I must have been as thick as a short plank when I was younger, because I sure did some stupid things.
See also: plank, short, thick

plank over something

to cover something over with planking. The county planked over the old bridge so bicyclists could use it.
See also: plank

*thick as a short plank

 and *thick as two short planks
exceptionally dim-witted. (*Also: as ~.) Dumb? He's as thick as a short plank, more like. Oh, I'd not say she was stupid. As thick as two short planks, yes, but stupid? Never!
See also: plank, short, thick

walk the plank

Fig. to suffer punishment at the hand of someone. (Fig. on the image of pirates making their blindfolded captives die by walking off the end of a plank jutting out over the open sea.) Fred may think he can make the members of my department walk the plank, but we will fight back. Tom thought he could make John walk the plank, but John fought back.
See also: plank, walk

walk the plank

to have to leave your job After he was caught stealing from the company, the treasurer was forced to walk the plank.
Etymology: based on the literal meaning of walk the plank ( to punish someone who worked on a ship by forcing them to walk off the end of a narrow board into the sea)
See also: plank, walk

be as thick as two short planks

  (British informal) also be as thick as shit (British taboo!)
to be very stupid He might be good-looking but he's as thick as two short planks. Most of the people who read these papers are as thick as shit anyway.
See also: plank, short, thick, two

walk the plank

to be forced to leave your job
Usage notes: In the past, people on ships who had committed crimes were forced to walk to the end of a plank (= a long flat piece of wood) and go over the side of the ship into the water.
Several Cabinet Ministers have been forced to walk the plank following the latest Government scandal.
See Take a hike!, stand tall
See also: plank, walk

walk the plank

Be forced to resign, as in We were sure that Ted hadn't left of his own accord; he'd walked the plank. This metaphoric idiom alludes to a form of execution used in the 17th century, mainly by pirates, whereby a victim was forced to walk off the end of a board placed on the edge of the ship's deck and so drown. [Second half of 1800s]
See also: plank, walk

walk the plank

To be forced, as by pirates, to walk off a plank extended over the side of a ship so as to drown.
See also: plank, walk
References in classic literature ?
The brook's fine and full now: another day's rain 'ud cover the plank, and we should have to go round by the road.
A bridge of planks thrown over the fosses for the greater convenience of the maneuvers connected with the barrows, joined the interior to the exterior.
My opinion is," exclaimed Jehanne de la Tarme, "that it would be better for the louts of Paris, if this little magician were put to bed on a fagot than on a plank.
Certainly,' cried little Hans, and he ran into the shed and dragged the plank out.
If you had seen me get astride of a plank, would you have remained on land, Porthos?
Now then, bullies," he said briskly, "six of you walk the plank to-night, but I have room for two cabin boys.
He dropped the plank, and turned deadly pale in a moment.
Such minds considered him a rotten plank, on which no foot should trust itself.
Went every day to the wreck; and got a great many pieces of timber, and boards, or plank, and two or three hundredweight of iron.
Fuchs selected boards from a pile of planks grandfather had hauled out from town in the fall to make a new floor for the oats-bin.
One evening, after she had lit a candle and was holding the child, several planks sprang up in the floor of the room, and out at the opening came a beautiful woman dressed in white, with an iron belt round her waist, to which was fastened an iron chain that went down into the ground.
True, the planks were not so closely adjusted but that a hasty peep might be obtained through their interstices; but the strict decorum and rigid propriety of the inhabitants of the house left no grounds for apprehending that advantage would be taken of that circumstance.
The next moment the very planks of the scaffold creaked with the weight of an advancing procession, and the eager faces of the spectators confirmed what a last hope at the bottom of his heart had prevented him till then believing.
Looking on the bridge he saw equally uniform living waves of soldiers, shoulder straps, covered shakos, knapsacks, bayonets, long muskets, and, under the shakos, faces with broad cheekbones, sunken cheeks, and listless tired expressions, and feet that moved through the sticky mud that covered the planks of the bridge.
Scarcely had he done so ere a party of armored knights and men-at-arms clanked out upon the planks above him from the mouth of the dark alley.