need (something) like a fish needs a bicycle

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need (something) like a fish needs a bicycle

To have absolutely no need or use for something. (Adapted from a feminist slogan coined by Irina Dunn: "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.") I'm perfectly happy having a phone that just makes phone calls—I need a fancy smartphone like a fish needs a bicycle. We have enough problems with the business as it is, so we need an audit right now like a fish needs a bicycle.
See also: bicycle, fish, like, need, needs