in spite of yourself
in spite of (oneself)
1. Despite one's own foibles, mistakes, or flaws. Somehow the Eagles managed to pull off a victory in spite of themselves. I knocked over my drink and called her the wrong name at one point, but all in all, I think the date went well in spite of myself.
2. Despite or against one's desire or intention. I was scared senseless when I realized there was a burglar in the house, but I laughed in spite of myself when he slipped on a banana peel on the kitchen floor.