if you please
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if you pleaseand if you would(, please)
1. a polite phrase indicating assent to a suggestion. Bill: Shall I unload the car? Jane: If you please. Sue: Do you want me to take you to the station? Bob: If you would, please.
2. a polite phrase introducing or following a request. John: If you please, the driveway needs sweeping. Jane: Here's the broom. Have at it. Jane: Take these down to the basement, if you would, please. John: Can't think of anything I'd rather do, sweetie.
if you ˈplease
1 (old-fashioned, formal) used when politely asking somebody to do something: Take a seat, if you please.
2 (old-fashioned, especially British English) used to say that you are annoyed or surprised at somebody’s actions: And now, if you please, he wants me to rewrite the whole thing!