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pissing contest

A useless or trivial argument, competition, or comparison. Whenever Jeff and Tim hang out, they always get into this pissing contest about who's the bigger sci-fi fanatic. If you two are quite finished with your little pissing contest, do you think we might get back to work now?
See also: contest, piss

dick measuring contest

vulgar slang A petty competition among individuals (usually men) who are trying to prove that they are better at something than the others. You're all good golfers, OK? Now can we please stop this riduculous dick measuring contest? I hate how these polical debates always seem to turn into a dick measuring contest, with each candidate trying to outdo the others.
See also: contest, dick, measure

no contest

1. Lit. [in games] a situation where one team fails to appear for a competition. It was declared no contest because the opposing team was stuck in traffic out on the expressway.
2. Fig. a situation where the winner-to-be of a contest is obvious even before holding the contest. It was no contest. The wrestler was so big and strong that no one could have defeated him.
See also: contest

not going to win any beauty contests

Fig. homely; ugly. Fred isn't going to win any beauty contests, but he's smart and considerate and he does well at his job. This old truck of mine is not going to win any beauty contests, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
See also: any, beauty, contest, going, not, win
References in classic literature ?
Yard by yard the School- house have been driven back, contesting every inch of ground.
He began warmly contesting the justice of this view.
I had need of all my self-control to warn me against contesting the matter with HER, and to remind me that the next words I had to say must be addressed to her master.
He was content to protest against this by a slight action without contesting it in words.
Ordinarily, if a tax-payer disputes a liability, and is actively contesting it, no deduction is allowed.