Another sign of an "all-about-image" office: if you notice that brown-nosers
who aren't necessarily the best at their jobs but who suck up to the managers constantly are getting promoted.
Big Brother came higher in the grumble list than muggers, while grumpy Brits are also more aggrieved about noisy eaters and brown-nosers
than neighbours from hell and the binge drinking culture.
The top ten most annoying things area:1) Cold-callers 2) Caravans 3) Queue-jumpers 4) James Blunt 5) Traffic wardens 6) Tailgaters 7) Brown-nosers
8) Chantelle and Preston 9) Ex-smokers 10) Noisy neighbours Others includea 12) Carol Vorderman 13) Loud mobile-phone users 14) Men in flip-flops 23) Rude shop assistants 24) People who read over your shoulder 25) People who complain they are fat when they are skinny 26) Stepping in dog poo 28) Big Brother 5 34) Novelty ring-tones 40) Running out of loo roll 47) Americans 48) David Blaine 95) Craig David
Don't tell me we haven't got a far higher proportion of brown-nosers
, bandwagon-jumpers, welshers (it's all right: I am Welsh) and general bottom-feeders in our great sport - as well as, paradoxically, a far higher proportion of very decent, honest people - than society as a whole.
Repeat offenders are written out of the script, publicly ridiculed by the party spin doctors and forced into rearguard actions against ambitious brown-nosers
in their own constituencies.
That party-liners, platitude-peddlers, brown-nosers
and bandwagon-jumpers, of which there are still far too many in racing (although there are some fine exceptions), stop profiting from their unprincipled opportunism.
Sorry, the one who sends soldiers to die fighting the Taliban while he fights off brown-nosers
trying to get further up the Cabinet's greasy poll.
I'm sure his Prince's Trust does fine work, but I'm unsure how hard it is to get celebrity brown-nosers
to appear before cameras or how much of his wealth he's pumped in.
I bet it did, but at least someone around the Crown Jewels had the brass orbs to suggest it among the brown-nosers
and mincing popinjays (Definitions: the figure of a parrot fixed on a pole as a mark to shoot at.
Naturally there were Charles brown-nosers
who pretended he was making a serious point about education, its culture of no-failure exams and devalued A level passes - a bit rich considering he wangled his way into Cambridge with A level grades more suited to a second-rate polytechnic.
Here I feel it's important to point out that despite what Chris Evans' army of brown-nosers
would have you believe, this show isn't a great success.
Now he's staring his Maker in the face - and the brown-nosers
and bootlickers have come out of the woodwork to say what a wonderful chap he is and how he'll always be remembered as a great man and an inspired politician.
When, not surprisingly, night after night she sat bored and sullen at dinner with these ageing bores and royal brown-nosers
, the reaction of the Queen was simply that she "really must buck up".
This is shorter and, as a result, sweeter, with Beaumont's acute eye neatly observing the hi-jinx and low morals of the now familiar shirkers, brown-nosers
, creeps and tarts (male and female) of the Miller Shanks crew as they gear up for the office Christmas party.
If you look at Prime Minister's Question Time you see brown-nosers
far worse than those who surrounded John Major.