bald as a coot
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*bald as a cootand *bald as a baby's backside
completely bald. (*Also: as ~.) If Tom's hair keeps receding like that, he'll be bald as a coot by the time he's thirty. Fred: Now, I'll admit my hair is thinning a little on the top, but—Jane: Thinning? You're not thinning, you're as bald as a baby's backside!