United chief wants 18 points from the next six games - or 15 from five after his pet hippo Sam Allardyce donates his customary three tonight.
Fe as b Ron w Fergie is often described as bacon-faced
- most of Ronnie's pens for the Reds were fakin'-based.
boss has been at Old Trafford so long his first Manchester United teamsheet was in Latin - they got beat V-III - but Hills clearly reckon his time there is running out, no matter how frequently he taps on his watch.
Fergie's stroppy reaction to Kelly's questioning on ITV is set to re-open his feud with old rival King Kenny, who won't take kindly to seeing his daughter (right) reprimanded by a fellow Scot, particularly a bacon-faced