If you can't
trim your sails to suit the weather If you can't take your chance to pass the buck If you can't offer cardboard goods as leather and then persuade the mugs to buy the muck: If you can't work a profitable fiddle or cheat the Customs when you've been abroad If you can't wangle your returns, and diddle the Revenue, yet not be charged with fraud If you can't learn the art of social climbing and step on those who're underneath If you can't kid your friend you're not 2-timing then, when it suits you, kick him in the teeth If you can't run your car on public money or have your lunch each day at Hotel du Vin you're going to find that life's not that funny, and, believe me, mate, you'll end up an also-ran!