monkeys might fly out of my butt

There is no chance of that ever happening. (Used to show skepticism or cynicism over someone's hypothetical remark.) Bob: "If we could just get Democrats and Republicans to agree on a tax reform bill, we could bring the deficit down in no time." Dave: "It might happen some day—and monkeys might fly out of my butt!"

See also: butt, fly, might, monkey, of, out

See also:

down with the haps
under the circumstances
be under way
can see (from) a mile off
coincidence
by coincidence
an exercise in (something)
come to pass
come to pass, to
an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure

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