couldn't raffle a chook in a pub

(Someone) is utterly incompetent or unable to arrange things successfully; (someone) can't even manage or carry out the simplest of tasks. ("Chook" is an informal term for a hen or chicken.) Primarily heard in Australia. I'm not surprised Marie's event was a disaster—she couldn't raffle a chook in a pub! The leaders of this country raffle a chook in a local pub, let alone overhaul the entire tax code! No wonder the strike failed. Those dipsticks couldn't raffle a chook in a pub!