clue stick

A metaphorical stick one uses to "beat" correct information into an ignorant, incompetent, or slow-learning person (i.e., to help them "get a clue"). I hate reading comments on online news articles—there are so many stupid people out there that I just want to get a big clue stick and knock some sense into them with it! I mean, Elvis has only been dead for decades, so if this guy doesn't know that by now, would a clue stick even help? A: "Don't read that article if you find scientific misinformation infuriating." B: "Ugh, a beating by clue stick would come in handy for these so-called 'reporters' who publish articles without even the most basic grasp of germ theory."