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bash the bishop

vulgar slang To masturbate. A term only applied to men. A: "Why is he all embarrassed today?" B: "Oh, his crush walked in on him bashing the bishop. How horrifying is that?"
See also: bash, bishop

beat the bishop

vulgar slang To masturbate. A term only applied to men. A: "Why is he all embarrassed today?" B: "Oh, his crush walked in on him beating the bishop. How horrifying is that?"
See also: beat, bishop

as the actress said to the bishop

  (humorous)
used to show that someone has said something that could have another meaning connected to sex It slides right in the hole, as the actress said to the bishop.
See also: actress, bishop, said

As the actress said to the bishop...

A phrase used to point out or emphasize that a remark had a risqué double meaning, whether or not it was intended. The phrase, first heard in Britain in the mid-20th century, contrasts a worldly actress and a very proper clergyman to whom such double meanings had to be pointed out. It also took the form of “as the bishop said to the actress,” “as the schoolmaster said to the schoolgirl,” and any number of other combinations. Mae West's repartees, such as replying to a man's saying, “I've heard so much about you” with “Yeah, but you can't prove it,” coming from almost anyone else would qualify for an “As the actress said to the bishop . . .”
See also: actress, said
References in classic literature ?
The day was already far spent, and presently the company broke up with many hiccupy bows of the Sheriff and little notice of the drowsy Bishop.
If it's Parry," said the bishop, "I have nothing to fear; so allow me to salute your majesty and to tell you who I am and for what I am come.
After my reverend lord bishop," said the king to the man, "I shall hear you with pleasure, sir.
Well," said Aramis, "that musketeer and abbe, afterwards bishop of Vannes, is your confessor now.
Then, monseigneur, if you know that, I must further add a fact of which you are ignorant - that if the king were to know this evening of the presence of this musketeer, this abbe, this bishop, this confessor,
At this moment the young man, supporting himself on his two elbows, drew close to Aramis's face, with such an expression of dignity, of self- command and of defiance even, that the bishop felt the electricity of enthusiasm strike in devouring flashes from that great heart of his, into his brain of adamant.
So the holy men came to the church; the Bishop and the Prior jesting and laughing between themselves about certain fair dames, their words more befitting the lips of laymen, methinks, than holy clerks.
Truly, good Lord Bishop, many a knight and burgher, clerk and layman, have danced to my music, willy-nilly, and most times greatly against their will; such is the magic of my harping.
Now, thou art a saucy varlet to speak so to my crest," quoth the Bishop, frowning on Robin.
One garment was all that Norman of Torn would permit him, and as the sun was hot overhead he selected for the Bishop a bassinet for that single article of apparel, to protect his tonsured pate from the rays of old sol.
The bishop hath need of a champion, because, if any cause be set to test of combat, it would scarce become his office to go down into the lists with leather and shield and cudgel to exchange blows with any varlet.
Bishop Morehouse was leaning forward and listening intently.
There was an impolite and sneering scepticism in his words and manner that secretly pleased most of them at the table, though it seemed to bother Bishop Morehouse.
I am told,' said Bishop magnate to Horse Guards, 'that Mr Merdle has made another enormous hit.
Bishop said he was glad to think that this wealth flowed into the coffers of a gentleman who was always disposed to maintain the best interests of Society.